Out of the Wood

Argh. Two weeks without the internet! How on earth did I survive? Well, alright, I saw plenty of the internet, but that’s not the point. The point is, it wasn’t on tap at all times. The point is, I couldn’t possibly have been paying much attention to ATR. But this will change.

I don’t know why the notables on the front page stopped turning up. It’s something of a mystery which I’m hoping a fresh install of SimplePie will solve in a “I never quite worked it out” sort of way. They’ll be back soon in a slightly expanded way, with yet another subtle tweaking of the front page. It’s amazing; once you get bored of the shiny factor, sliding review titles suddenly seem massively pointless.

I also don’t know whether Torchwood, the new Who spinoff, will be any good, but early signs are encouraging. SFX Magazine have a little run-down of all the characters which is one of the most encouraging things I’ve seen. Early vibe seems to suggest it’ll be a little like Angel (Whedon’s shows are a major influence according to Russell T. Davies) but with aliens instead of demons, brits instead of yanks, and added swearing.

This encourages my fervent hope that one day, I will see an episode of science fiction telly where something horribly wrong, life-threatening and scary happens, and a character says simply, “Fuck”.

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Brain Dead

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I can see the headline now…

EVIL CHILD GENIUS FORMULATED MASTER PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION WHILE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. Hmm, that might be too long.

The computer games industry needs to learn that making games about guns and cars are not a good idea. They should have seen the trouble Rockstar had with GTA last year, so it astounds me when a company makes a self prescribed genocide simulator

Sure the developer, Introversion, has given the game beautiful vector graphics, a haunting sound track and addictive multiplayer but that’s no excuse for them teaching our children that genocide is ok. The game could have been about lawns, weeds and drops of Roundup and still have been as fascinating.

It’s only a matter of time before a crazy lawyer catches wind of this game, or some kid makes their own bomb from materials bought online and bombs their school to teach the bullies a lesson.

How about TEENAGER USED GENOCIDE SIMULATOR. Yes that’s more catchy.

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The Quest, Part One

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Whiter Whites and Brighter Brights

I’ve done it, I’ve caved. Too many people with too many DSes and it all got too much for me.

My White Stuff

Look at all the white shiny things. Now all I need is the iPhone and the OTViP which should be out any day never.

Also, I saw the Opera DS Browser which might be coming out soon here, too. In a way, the DS is an investment; if I can browse wireless networks with it, I’m less likely to get seduced by a laptop. Also, BioWare is branching out to the DS, so I’m guaranteed at least one good game in the future.

What impresses me most about the DS though is just the ease of multiplayer. To be able to sit down with one copy of Starfox or Big Brain Academy and play a game with five of your friends, with only a very small waiting period is really amazing. And, Mario is surprisingly addictive. Excuse me.

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The End

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Memento Mori

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I’ll Explain Later

“Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they’re looking to make.”
“Cigarettes in space?”
“It’s the final frontier, Nick.”
“But wouldn’t they blow up in an all oxygen environment?”
“Probably. But it’s an easy fix. One line of dialogue. ‘Thank God we invented the… you know, whatever device.'”

Thank You For Smoking

Ah, technobabble. Also known as ‘phlebotonin’ if you’re a writer on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’m sure that to the casual viewer, all technobabble is equal. I know that when I watch House, I have no idea what they’re talking about half of the time, and it doesn’t bother me at all. As long as they don’t go on too long about it.

A big discussion blew up about technobabble, and Samantha Carter’s propensity for it, earlier in the year when we saw Stargate SG-1‘s wannabe epic, ‘Ripple Effect’. Interviews such as this one with Claudia Black have revealed that the SG-1 creative team are more focused on making sure that the plot is well-established than putting character moments into stories; not a bad thing in itself, but sometimes it feels like the show has become hyper-focussed on trying to make ultimately nonsensical science make complete, unassailable sense. Why bother?

‘Ripple Effect’ is a good case in point. For a parallel-universe episode to spend a quarter of its length on making sure that their universe jumping plan was explained to the letter seems peculiar for a show clearly targeted at regular science fiction viewers. On occasions, like in this season’s ‘Insiders’, it almost feels like background characters are there to say what the writers think internet fans are going to pick holes in. “But what about that device in season four that did this?” “Doesn’t that contradict season six, episode twelve?” If the characters are going to have mind-numbing debates on the internal continuity of the show on screen, what does that leave the fans to do?

Compare this to Doctor Who, which cops a lot of flak amongst its fans for doing exactly the opposite. In ‘The Idiot’s Lantern’, an alien intelligence went about through televisions, sucking the faces off people. The Doctor’s plan involves taping the consciousness on a videotape, but because it isn’t divulged until later, the climactic scenes become rather confusing. Oh no! Random thing has gone wrong! Oh yay! Random thing has been fixed! Phew!

This sort of thing would probably be over the head of Joe Normal regardless, just like the big, dramatic arguments about potential cures in House are only exciting to me because everyone’s acting like they should be, rather than because I understand what causes which symptoms. But for a sci-fi audience, just a little touch of technobabble can make them feel a lot more involved.

Technobabble has its place. Economically used, to smooth the discrepancies between the real world and the fictional world, and to ease the objections of people who actually know something about the science you’re fudging. If you’re Douglas Adams, not that anyone is these days, it can even be almost poetic. I don’t think it’s offensive to non-geeky viewers, but by the same tack, I think in many cases, especially Stargate‘s, large swathes of it become about satisfying Stargate nerds as opposed to science nerds. That’s when it becomes a mess — because let’s face it, the only people who give a crap are probably going to find a hole in it anyway.

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Counterstrike

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Thank You For Smoking

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