I don’t really know what to say about this episode. Everyone’s just mucking about until the end of season. The First has no big plan. Buffy and pals have no big plan. Buffy spends the entire episode moping about, until Spike gives her a rousing speech which inspires her to go find a magical axe. I’m sure that it was a very moving scene for those who are interested in the Buffy/Spike arc, but I couldn’t give a damn. It had better have a very important influence on the final episode. The rest of the gang are a bit fearful of Spike and are happy to see him leave. The only one who really gets along with him is Buffy, thus keeping her isolated from the rest. The apocalypse is moving closer, but there’s still time for some more getting it on. The biggest surprise was that Buffy and Spike didn’t join in.

Kennedy is still getting Willow on the rebound. As much as I hate the whole Buffy/Spike thing, I have to say that Willow’s plotlines have been worse in the past two seasons. Willow keeps whinging about turning evil. The whole magic addiction has got out of hand. Kennedy’s quite able to seduce Willow despite her past and doesn’t give a damn about Willow’s dark side. Kennedy’s just after a bit of nookie. She’s been annoying the entire season and intends to end on a high. Hopefully she’s one of the ones who’ll die. Having been intramental in kicking Buffy out, she seems to want to be able to give orders on the basis that she’s the oldest potential. Is it too much to hope that Kennedy’ll betray Buffy to become a slayer?

I can understand the potentials” frustration. Having removed the autocratic Buffy, there was obviously some hope of a better system. Would you look at that. An oppresive regime was kicked out, only to be replaced by an equally undemocratic system. Anyway, so the gang spends the entire time arguing until eventually all the potentials (except Kennedy) retire to the basement and the Scoobies make the First envious.

No one has any idea about how to defeat the bad guy. I was hoping Giles might take control, being older than the rest of them. The younger kids are all worked up but Giles isn’t doing anything. His character’s been all over the place this season.

One final thing about Kennedy. I really thought that she was stupid enough to be walking alone in a dark street.

• Buffy’s making long speeches: no — she’s been kicked out.
• Buffy has trouble fighting: no — she can run rings around Caleb when she wants to.
• Someone questions Buffy’s ability to make difficult decisions: no.
• Flashbacks: no.
• Modern Weaponry: tick — a big bomb.
• Poke test to check for corporeality: no.
• Anya’s sole line: Complaining about lack of sex involving her.
• Andrew provides comic relief: Constant irrelevent babbling.
• The First does something: no.
• Strange behaviour by the gang: Still walking into traps.
• Getting it on: lots — Faith, Wood, Anya, Xander, Willow and Kennedy.
• Best quote: “Casualties, makes it sound so casual.”
• Biggest gripe: Kennedy.

I’m finding it difficult to watch television now, without mentally drafting reviews in my head. It’s getting a little stressful. I should probably start reviewing one more show apart from Alias, but I’m not sure which. MDA is good, but pointless for anyone outside Australia who’ll never see it. Stargate is a possibility, but I feel that there are others who love it more than I who deserve the … honour? Irritation perhaps.

Anyhow, I’m enjoying all three of the above shows. Alias packs more plot into one episode than Buffy puts in five, and still manages to service all its characters with interesting plots. Well, except her roommate with the restaurant.

MDA continues to explore the problems of legal liability when applied to doctors. The show has improved now that all the characters are well defined, and there’s a bit more sparkle to it. Besides, I love watching Australian drama (or stuff from HBO in the US) just for the possibility of someone saying ‘fuck’ when they get really irritated. It often pulls me out of the moment in shows like Angel when something terrible happens and the worst anyone can say is “Oh, damn”.

I like Stargate too. Although Daniel needs more lines. Last episode you could count them on two hands. Though in fairness the actor does wiggle his eyebrows and twich his face enough to almost make up for it when he’s been dumped in a scene with nothing to do. Michael Shanks is good, but could probably take lessons from Seth Green on quietness.

And isn’t Jackson’s weblog exciting? I can’t wait for the next one, where no doubt he’ll tell us to stop reading straight away, and then swear at us as we leave… I can only assume he’s faking insane boredom in order to get much sympathy when we see him again.

Or, perhaps, he’s shit bored truly.

No really. Go away. I’m not even going to pretend that interesting things are happening in my life right now. I’m using the oodles of headspace that I have had since I arrived to ponder the possibilities for me in the immediate future.

I would like to win some money. Lots of it.

The question “What would you do if you won the lottery?” has been done to death. I’m not sure exactly what I’d spend it all on, but I do know I wouldn’t mind finding out.

I’d prefer it to be soon.

I don’t know why you are still reading this.

Bed time.

The most notable thing in this episode is about Buffy’s leadership of the group. During the earlier seasons, the Watchers’ Council and Giles were in charge. Then the Council started giving out wacky orders that Buffy didn’t like the look of and there was a bit of a split. I imagine Giles and the other watchers have lots of experience and knowledge and can make the best decision and avoid mistakes but Buffy’s not too keen on these tests to check her mettle and increase her power so she stopped trusting the Council. It was about this time that the Watchers became a little greyer, and more selfish; willing to use the slayer for the own ends. So about season five or so, I presume Giles had decided that as Buffy wasn’t going to die anytime soon, it’s about time she became a bit more independent and make some hard decisions; acting more like an adult. She was looking lazy and not getting a job.

Something that was lost along the way is the distinction that Giles seemed to emphasise Buffy making normal decisions by herself, not ‘end of the world’, ‘let’s sacrifice my sister’ decisions. Now Buffy thinks she has to do everything by herself and can’t rely on anyone. The strain of the ultimate evil is getting to her and she’s loosing touch with the group. She’s ‘focussed on the mission’, a similar theme touched upon of Fred and Angel a couple of weeks ago. She should be paying attention to more normal things, like the potentials’ frustration from lack of action. When the time comes she’ll trust her friends, but this waiting for the end of season is getting to them all. Especially with such dull episodes.

It would help if the rest of them could do some research, they’d fall into their familiar roles but the lack of information means most of the gang has nothing to do. That’s the trouble with secret cults. Added to these troubles, the guilt from last week is being suppressed and Buffy’s trying to deny it. She resorts to lashing out and distances herself from Xander when he needs sympathy. It’s far too painful for her to face it right now and she won’t admit her mistake, because it was so costly. Everyone keeps hounding her to follow the mission and make tough decisions and then when she does, they all whinge. Bloody losers. So she takes some time out.

This episode seemed a bit muddled and the characters unsure of themselves, but after writing this out, most of it makes sense to me now.

The downside to this focus on Buffy is that there’s lots of themes they could explore but don’t seem to have the time. The other characters receive little finesse in their development. Far too much of the time, they seem to be in stand-alone episodes. Willow’s trouble with magic is handled badly and the way she deals with Tara’s (may she stay dead forever) death is worse. Xander and Anya have some good moments but Dawn’s had one episode and a vague concern about Buffy that sort of trailed off. Unfortunately, it’s hard to see the show going out on a bang at this late stage.

• Buffy’s making long speeches: tick.
• Buffy has trouble fighting: tick — Beaten by Caleb again.
• Someone questions Buffy’s ability to make difficult decisions: no but Buffy keeps telling everyone that she can.
• Flashbacks: no.
• Modern Weaponry: no.
• Poke test to check for corporeality: no.
• Anya’s sole line: Long spiel about where she went last week and breakup sex.
• Andrew provides comic relief: tick — Brings out the geek in Spike.
• The First does something: no.
• Strange behaviour by the gang: Everyone gets a bit caught up in kicking Buffy out.
• Getting it on: no.
• Best quote: “Oh really, because sometimes our missions end up with you trying to kill me.”
• Biggest gripe: Unexplored themes.

Once again, I feel a surge of relief as any potential contact with my supervisors is a long way away. At least 4 days. On a more serious note, it’s nearly time to start working for this year. If I wait too much longer, there’ll be too much work to do. But I can’t start yet because the amount of work to be done has not yet reached the critical mass.

I was rather off put by this week’s meeting on a Wednesday, rather than a Thursday. I keep thinking I’m a day ahead. It’s completely thrown my week out of kilter.

Some exciting news: (and shameless promoting) This Saturday, I and many other people associated with Bizircus are performing in a fund raiser at the Fly By Night club in Freo so if anyone from my wide and varied readership is in Freo, come along.

Alias two nights a week? How can one reviewer cope? Well, she can’t. So I’ll be stepping in to review the Thursday episodes. To provide a little male perspective on the show — which is obviously needed, as Shannon doesn’t seem to properly appreciate just how sexy Jennifer Garner is. Of course, I’ve never seen the show before, so I have some ignorance too, just in different places.

The episode starts in three places. Somewhere, a woman is being locked up very carefully. She didn’t look particularly scary, but everyone else seemed very unsettled, so I’m assuming she’s either a master criminal or a victim of a lethal contagion that threatens to cover the earth. Somewhere else, a weaselly looking man is undergoing some slightly icky initiation ceremony. And in some dank alley, two very attractive people are talking. One of them is Jennifer Garner. Did her voice sound that chipmonk-ey in Daredevil?

Ah, who am I kidding? I know who all these people are. Channel 7 provided me with a helpful intro, explaining who’s bad, who’s good, who’s bad pretending to be good and who’s good pretending to be bad. I’ve got a handle on everyone. At first I thought this was probably going to be superfluous, and that the title sequence would probably have given me the insight I required.

Then I saw it. Does Alias have the most boring and uninspired title sequence I’ve ever seen on a show? Why, yes it does. My god. Spinning white letters. Man, that’s cool. I long for the days of Babylon 5‘s ever changing, always emotive title sequences and music. But enough of my sad bitching, onto the episode proper.

As Michael Vartan hesitantly approached the cell that holds Sydney’s Mum, I was reminded of the many cage scenes this season in Angel. Perhaps she’s a vampire. Vaughn seems pretty scared. What a baby. What’s the worst she can have done to him? At least he got up the guts to look at her, unlike certain sexy double agents we could mention. I’ll forgive Sydney however on the basis of the outfit she wears on her mission to get the film.

The central dilemma of the episode — should Sydney do what her mother tells her or not — is one we can all relate to. Mothers can be so controlling. While I found our voluptuous heroine’s five-minute conversation mid-mission with her real bosses somewhat unbelievably risky, it was a very tense moment, handled well. What was handled even better though was the resolution of this. We never found out what would have happened if she pulled the lever. Her mother’s comment on her return could be interpreted either as “You’re looking spooked and irritated, you didn’t press the lever” or “You’re looking healthy and you have your right hand, you didn’t press the lever.” I always like a bit of well-used ambiguity, and this was fairly impressive for a US action TV show.

In fact, apart from this childish resistance to doing what her mother tells her, I was fairly impressed with Sydney. She does a very nice drop off the balcony, and her laser torch is one of the fastest and most convincing I’ve seen. I wish she wouldn’t wear her hair straight back, but as Shannon complained about exactly the opposite thing last week I shan’t go on about it. I’m certainly impressed that she’s keeping up this ‘double agent’ lark so long. It must make for a stressful sort of life. Vaughn is less impressive. Was there some kind of pole up his arse in the night club? I’ve never seen someone look so out of place. This is probably as I don’t carry a mirror in nightclubs.

Having bagged the title sequence, I feel obliged to point out that the zooming words announcing the narrative settling on a new location are rather cool. The decision to use slow motion every single time anyone visits Mum could get old pretty fast though. Perhaps fast motion next week. This show looks like it needs a good comedy episode. Who’s up for an Alias / Benny Hill crossover?

Well, Benny Hill, for one.

After putting notice of an extra Wednesday rehearsal on the EMS newsletter, and putting my hand up to say I’d be there, I then completely forgot to go. There was a little voice saying ‘stop by the EMS office on your way home’ in my head after Electrodynamics, but I figured I was just wanting to waste good Lab-writing-up time.

I am getting a little scatterbrained. A little MORE scatterbrained. I need an organiser that talks and casually reminds you of things that morning.

On the bright side, I’ve finished my two books. Both were good, though Wilde had the better ending.

If you looked at a graph displaying the time of day at which I did work, you’d find that it was highly skewed towards 3 am. It’s not that I do a lot of work at this time, it’s more like I don’t do a lot of work at any other time.

Keep your eye on St C’s for a new weekly series of articles called ‘Honours’
or
‘There and back again’

I’m not sure which yet.

I attempted to demonstrate NTGF’s latest masterpiece — Andy C episode 1, part 3, subsection IV — to our good friend Corrinne today. Corrinne rarely spends time online and was unaware of most of our recent efforts but I managed to persuade her to join me at a PC to hear the voices of her good mates, Sara and Andy.

However to my irritation, the PC involved refused to transmit any audio content save the bare MIDI minimum. Hence, instead of presenting to her the voices of long-missed amigos, I instead showed her animated boobs bouncing up and down as I repeatedly rewound in hope of finding some sound.

Which was marvellous. Those EMS members looking over my shoulder were puzzled also. Bloody PCs.

In exciting news, the ABC is repeating all of Doctor Who from the start at 6pm on weekdays, starting in September!

Alright, it’s not exciting at all. They would choose the time when I’m overseas to do it.

This part of the season is much like being halfway through a boring movie. I’m checking my watch to see how much more I have to put up with. Here we are intorduced to a new villan but it feels much like the ubervamp all over again. It would seem that the First has about 3 minions: Caleb, an ubervamp and bringers. Any unexplained evil acts this season were apparently committed by Caleb so I’m left to assume that there’s no one else working for the First. It’s plan to kill all the potentials is going very slowly. I can only assume that it is planning something big for the end of season but that might be hoping too much. A bit of dynamite or a machine gun might help speed things up. If I was Xander, I’d have a gun. It’s all very well to have faith in your leader, but there’s nothing wrong with a gun. There’s more guns in the US than people but no one in the Buffy household owns one. Tell me they wouldn’t be useful in killing Bringers. Wesley killed Skip with one. It frustrates me that Xander is daft enough to be fighting beside Buffy but has not in seven seasons made an effort to become a better fighter. He keeps throwing himself into the fight risking serious injury. And now he’s lost an eye.

I’m not an expert on the Buffyverse magic system, but some sort of healing spell would come in handy. Healing broken bones is a useful skill. Regenerating eyes would be good. It’s a shame there’s nothing of that sort. The potential shoulda worn a seat belt. Willow has a nice car.

I’m impressed that there’s a bit of a council for once to discuss the problems, even if it does end in Buffy giving more orders. She needs to find a better way to run things. Those potentials don’t look too happy being cooped up like that. With that many people, you should have some sort of system to run the place or you’ll have someone’s eye out. It’d be nicer if Buffy listened to other people for once. Just because she has to make the hard decisions doesn’t mean she has to make all the decisions. She’s a fighter not a thinker. She’s not been given an extra big brain to match her speed. She’s way too confident in her crap fighting skills and she falls for the trap every time.

Anya mysteriously doesn’t appear in this episode. Must be off on a holiday.

Much to my surprise, Buffy holds no grudge against Wood. I’d like to know who’s buying all the food now that Buffy has no job. I don’t think the rest of them are rich enough to support fifty people.

I’m hoping the last couple of episodes are something more exciting than: ‘After being beaten up a couple of times, I imagine Buffy will beat Caleb just in time for the end of the season and sacrifice herself to preserve the slayer line.’

• Buffy’s making long speeches: tick — Her and Xander both.
• Buffy has trouble fighting: tick — Thoroughly beaten by Caleb.
• Someone questions Buffy’s ability to make difficult decisions: no but Wood tells her to focus on the mission.
• Flashbacks: tick — Andrew tells of Faith’s history.
• Modern Weaponry: no.
• Poke test to check for corporeality: no.
• Anya’s sole line: N/A
• Andrew provides comic relief: tick — Some confusion about Faith and Vulcans.
• The First does something: tick — Brought Caleb to Sunnydale.
• Strange behaviour by the gang: Willow’s driving an expensive car.
• Getting it on: nearly — Xander dreams of nubile potentials and Faith flirts with a shirtless Spike.
• Best quote: “No one was immune to her trail of destruction. Not friends, not family, not even the most logical of races…”
• Biggest gripe: Buffy falls for another trap.