Reviews are peculiar things. I think it’s time to expand their definition somewhat, especially when it comes to the larger items like books and films. Less of trying to summarise every damn thing about the object in question and more about just writing things related to it, and responses to it. I don’t know. I’ll try to experiment a bit more. Apart from just pastiching Andy’s style in my Alias reviews…

Uni trundles on as always. I’m still of course not even remotely managing to summarise my physics subject as I go. And my darned iPod hasn’t turned up yet. It had better come before the weekend, I want to take it to EMS camp.

Although if I have the big car, I’m not sure how I’ll listen to it. I might have to buy one of these FM transmitter things. There appears to be no port whatsoever on Dad’s CD player.

I know if I were googling for Buffy reviews, I’d pop in a random fruit name as well, to liven things up.

Granted, I’m extremely tired – but there is no excuse for what has just happened.

I ran out of lives while playing Sonic The Hedgehog. Yes, the first one.

I can’t believe it. I feel like I need to defend myself, and say that I don’t do anything like build up my lives on some easy level – but it doesn’t matter.

I still died.

And that’s not all. It gets worse.

I died… in the Marble Zone. The MARBLE ZONE!! THE FRELLING MARBLE ZONE.

Act One.

Maybe in my current state I could accept dying a bit later on, but the Marble zone? I can never look another gamer in the face.

I’m sure a lot of you are wondering what all the fuss is about. Maybe you have died in the Marble Zone before, but stuff like this happens to OTHER people. Not me.

I’m a Sonic fan. I have beaten all the games. I don’t lose all my lives by the Marble Zone.

My world is in disarray. I’ve spent so much of my life playing games that I expect to be good at them, especially ones I’ve played before that were released in 1991. My life, is meaningless.

Anyway I need to go and cry myself to sleep…

Look at that handy little introduction they give to all the characters, their relationships and all the background information to their interactions and the general plot up to this point. Its like a built-in previously. No wonder Tom gets it. Shame there isn’t an opening title sequence to do all that though, less effectively. Cos you know, those informative title sequences are really key. It’s no good if they just look all swish and classy, they need to educate. Like that special educating bit at the start does. Oooh I know, maybe they should play that bit twice…

Maybe I’m just nitpicking but there is something fundamental that bothers me about the covert way our lovely Jen gets into the CIA headquarters. We see her doing all her cloak-and-dagger routine, she is jogging through a park (nicely justified inclusion of Jennifer Garner jogging, by the way) when she requests her covert entry, and is monitored for terrible SD-6 security fiends on her tail. As such, her scenes to follow within the CIA headquarters then show her attired in her sweaty jogging gear (again, nicely justified). BUT later on this same episode, and most others this season she appears at CIA either dressed in her disguise from the mission she has just returned from, or in normal everyday clothing, which makes me think, how is she getting in those other times? I think perhaps they just cant justify having her in the jogging gear for 75% of each episode. But its an unexplained flaw and it grates my cheese.

My favourite character in Alias has to be Marshall. In the first season, the first few episodes, I brushed him off as an overstated geek. But he’s just so endearing. I hope they let him out of the office soon, I’d like to see him in action…

Simple minds, simple pleasures: One of the nicest touches to this ep was that the high tech luge Marshall and his team were creating for Sydney’s mission was not yet built. I had previously pondered if they were meant to have all these tricky gizmo’s stashed away in a cupboard somewhere already designed just waiting for a mission where they might be useful, or whether Sydney’s tools of trade were designed on a need basis. Its the little things adding up that make this show as well thought out as it seems: Marshall apologetically explains her gizmo of the day currently under construction.

The actual luge sequence however? Oh, come on. The formula one sound effect, while amusing, did not fit with the other elements of the sequence, or perhaps it’s the other way around. My point is, she was traveling at 100mph or so, complete with f1 sound effects as she went flying round those corners, and yet her face was not wind swept back at all and her body was perfectly stable lying on that there luge. Wouldn’t you bounce around a bit and have your head nearly bob off your shoulders if you were going that fast? I’ve hooned around Sandown in a Sprite with nothing but roll bar stopping the wind and I tell you your neck does not stay on your head straight. I’m really nitpicking now, I know, but Alias gets the character stuff really well, and the little eccentricities on the mark, and even has an intelligent, intriguing overall story arc happening, and yet their action sequences, which according to their advertising is the only thing the show consists of, is so flawed. Enough grated cheese this week for a medium margherita…

There’s two types of season finales in this world. The sort that wrap everything up that’s been going on all season, and the sort that throw a curve ball at you and leave you wondering what’s going to happen next season. Well, alright, there’s a few more than that, but these two do happen a lot. At the end of Angel‘s last season, we had the beautiful images of Angel and Cordy sinking into the sea and rising into the air respectively.

Well, beautiful as long as you didn’t think too hard about how or why it was happening. This time round, things are left moving in intriguing new directions.

‘Home’ was a breath of fresh air after the over arcing plot we’ve had to suffer and enjoy in roughly equal measure this season. Suddenly, everyone’s allowed to have a sense of humour again. We’re allowed to see the cast interact in more casual ways, rather than just responding to another apocalyptic threat. Quite frankly, after Angel and Buffy this season, I could go quite a while without an apocalyptic threat. They’re getting just a tad lame. Especially if I get some more lovely moments like Lorne and Fred dancing in the Wolfram and Hart foyer.

What I could get a lot more of is anything involving Wesley and Lilah — though I get the impression that their story could well be over at this point. Wesley’s attempt to destroy her perpetuity contract was a great touch. I do hope though that if Wesley uses this marvellous library system in the future, that he doesn’t have to hold his lips right next to the book to speak the desired name. It looks rather daggy, and to just walk in, say the name and have the correct book fly towards you would be much much cooler.

Fred, Gunn and Lorne probably had the least to do this episode — yet their threads did allow some intriguing possibilities for next season. Well, OK, not so much with Lorne. Having watched season 2 again recently, I’d love to see a return to the wiser, in tune with the higher-powers Lorne that dispensed good advice, rather than the more hedonistic creature he’s become. Or at least an acknowledgement that he’s made this change. Gunn and the Panther got on better than I expected, but there seems a bit of danger in linking one’s self too deeply with something at the centre of Wolfram and Hart. Fred now has a cool lab and a geeky scientist to help her — and luckily, this one can string sentences together and talks at a reasonable speed, unlike Sydney Bristow’s pet nerd on Alias.

I haven’t mentioned the issues with Angel and Connor yet. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Has he done the right thing? Will we ever see Connor again? Has he made a mistake dealing with Wolfram and Hart? Sadly, due to the irritating wrangling of Connor’s character, viewers are only likely to care about the final question. I’m not convinced this was the best way to get him out of the way, but given their track record with him, I’m glad he IS out of the way. And to be fair, this plotline did revisit some of the themes that the show touched on all through the season.

Therefore I label ‘Home’ as the most enjoyable episode of Angel, season four. Others were better, but the vitality of a few completely new ideas being thrown into the mix — coupled with losing a whole bunch of ideas that weren’t working so well — seems to be giving this show a new beginning. And I like beginnings.

When we last saw our heroine, she was trapped under the ice, ready to freeze to death, with an irritating European spy waiting above to kill her if she tried anything. Having seen the cliffhanger and the resolution in the wrong order, it’s hard to say if her escape was a cop out or not. Am I right to assume machine guns work underwater? I know I’d want them to. Sydney’s still on top form this week. I particularly enjoyed her Russian military uniform. I don’t know what that says about me.

Meanwhile, back at Vaughn and Sydney’s exciting fence, Vaughn’s very upset. “I certainly didn’t join the CIA looking for fairness,” he exclaims in surprise. Oh. It must have been to meet hot chicks then. On this front he’s doing alright, but frankly, he deserved a snog at one point and Syd’s a meanie for not giving him one. But then, she has issues too. Having divorced parents is never easy, and it makes it even more difficult if they’ve been going around killing people. Her mum seems quite a sweetie. I’m not so sure about her dad though. His eyes are very close together and his mouth is teeny weeny. These can’t be good signs.

Ah. And he’s taken to booby trapping cottages with explosives. Anti-social tendencies like this won’t help anyone. Least of all Sydney. Mr Bristow seems a fairly sensible man but frankly if my daughter were a super spy who’d been running rings around a highly dangerous weapon smuggling operation for over a year, I’d be just a little more nervous about attempting to hoodwink her. You could see him feeling a bit guilty when everyone told him how cool he was though. His mouth got that extra bit smaller.

I have my doubts about this SD-6 business actually. Surely Sloane must be getting just a little suspicious that all the missions he sends Sydney on result in near failures, or meaningless data. One would think that every now and then they’d have to let them have SOMETHING. But right now Sloane’s a bit distracted by some creepy goings-on concerning his wife. It’s nice when the bad guys don’t get away with naughty things like spoucicide.[ftn] Still, I reckon one simple ‘trailing’ operation on one or both of the Bristows would reveal some valuable information.

And lastly — good on Will. Often in these shows, the normal people are forced to act dumb to prove to us just how clever the super heroes are. Will appears to have escaped this fate. He’s not fooled by cute chicks who want his SD-6 knowledge.

Footnotes

1. This may not be a real word.

I’m really just hanging out for the end of season at this stage, so excuse the brevity. I’ve got very low expectations for the last episode so hopefully I can’t be disappointed. Despite an ordinary season, there’s quite a few plots that should be wrapped up but I’m not very optimistic. At least some of the potentials will die. The only plotline that seems certain to be properly finished is the one about Buffy and Spike. Please, please please die Spike. That last shot with the First looks promising. There’s been far too much Buffy focus in this season at the expense of the other characters and the plot.

It seems that Faith is just as bad a leader as Buffy. Buffy works better by herself. I’ll accept that Buffy could defeat four ubervamps with that axe, but I’d like to know where they came from. Did the First manage to release them? If so, what stopped the First from releasing the whole army? To balance this new plot hole, another one was filled in. The food that the potentials have been guzzling down has been looted from empty stores, thus at least partly explaining how they can afford to house so many people. Anya and Andrew share a couple of good scenes, although I’d have thought the Summers household would be well stocked with medical equipment. Most (all?) of the residents of Sunnydale have left for a couple of weeks. Probably a good idea.

Buffy’s orders to Xander display troubled mind. She’s having a hard time coming to terms with the likelyhood of serious casualties amongst the good guys. She’s looks like she’s accepted that the potentials will die; having distanced herself from them, they’re practically strangers. It’s different for Xander and Dawn, the two most useless in the group. The scene makes sense, but it feels like a waste of screen time.

I like the difference in prescence between Angel and Buffy. You can see the weight of the world on Buffy’s shoulders but Angel strolls about the place as if he owns it. Buffy genuinely fears for the lives of her friends but Angel looks confident in the knowledge that he can defeat whatever he comes across. He knocked Caleb out and generally seems more capable in a fight. Buffy’s super strength and fighting skills have been waning over the last year.

Giles’ faith in books is justified this episode. The extra secret cult, makers of the magic axe, are unlikely to have a website. It seems possible that such cults are more likely to feature in an old book. This whole ending is screaming ‘Cop Out’.

• Buffy’s making long speeches: tick.
• Buffy has trouble fighting: tick — she keeps dropping her magical axe.
• Someone questions Buffy’s ability to make difficult decisions: tick — Xander’s not too keen on his mission.
• Flashbacks: no but exposition about the origin of the axe.
• Modern Weaponry: tick — Dawn has a Taser.
• Poke test to check for corporeality: no.
• Anya’s sole line: “Trying to talk will just kill you sooner.” Consoling a potential.
• Andrew provides comic relief: Comedic looting.
• The First does something: Merges with Caleb.
• Strange behaviour by the gang: Apparently forgot to stock up on bandaids.
• Getting it on: Caleb and the First.
• Best quote: “Okay. I’ll get Kennedy to watch the girls. She’s tough. Imminent death won’t bother her.” — Anya.
• Biggest gripe: Random ubervamps.

Where does the week go. Only a moment ago, it was Saturday night and I was enjoying talking to a cute fellow performer about being nervous before your act. (I wasn’t nervous but I was willing to pretend that I was for the sake of conversing with the aforesaid cute chick.)

So things turned out pretty good, although we could have done with actual costumes rather than just whatever we were wearing. There were about 250 people there, so hopefully sufficient funds were raised to keep the circus school going. Just between you and me, there’s a rumor going around that someone’s setting a little aside from the school’s funds for their own use.

So then it quickly became Tuesday, and I had to pretend to have done more work to impress my supervisers. I’ve figured out how to keep them talking with a minimal amount of work.

Tuesday soon became Today and I had to do a 20 minute presentation on the Poincare Conjecture. My l33t debating skills came in handy and as I came prepared with pretty pictures and long words, things went as well as could be expected. The lecturers present tried to stump me by asking what all the long words meant and that took up the rest of the time. The rest of the day was filled up with NWN and being snipered to death.

Soon it will be next week so I guess I’d better start thinking about doing some more work for next week, which is a week off, so maybe only a little work.

TAOKJ is being difficult. Last week, a few moments ago, I decided to make a movie file instead of the regular gif, I had trouble getting the video clip that I wanted so things got delayed. Now my movie program won’t display video and in a desperate attempt to get it done I remembered that Windows has it’s own movie editting software. Then I remembered why I forgot about it. So everything is peachy. Especially since I removed that new worm that’s going around. You apple fans don’t know what you’re missing.

A detailed study of Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.

Well, I don’t agree with everything here, but my god, someone had a lot of time on his/her hands. The induction that Wesley made a pass at Gunn at some point seems a bit flawed…

Let’s play a game. It’s called “If you don’t like my blog entries, DON’T READ THEM!!!”. That’s right. I’m not twisting your arm. I write them because I enjoy rambling about crap, not because I’m expected to write anything and certainly not to “make excuses for myself” as one lovely fan pointed out. I don’t write them for anyones benefit.

As such, e-mails on how to improve my entries will be ignored.

“Bitter and self-defensive” is the order of the month when it comes to humour. I think I’m being funny when I write the way I do. Other people possibly won’t, but at least I get a chuckle out of it. Which is all that matters, when you think about it.

In any case, don’t take anything I write here too seriously, because if I had a genuine grievance or actually some serious and personal to say I wouldn’t announce it publicly. Although by looking at recent threads on CommCate you think it was the latest craze.

Fear not, kind people. I’m not bitter, I’m just seeing how far I can push humour in the form sarcasm and cynicism.

Incidentally, old people here smell like urine… or something. The bus to Limerick is an hour and a half, and quite unlike me, I often get motion sickness. The end result is 90 minutes of trying not to throw up, and it makes it unbearably difficult when some old smelly man sits next to you. Seriously it’s the second time it’s happened. It’s just so damn offensive, and I really have to concentrate to keep my stomach contents where they are.

It can’t be that hard, can it? I don’t even have a proper shower — I have some stupid little fitting that I use for about 180 seconds everyday and I smell just peachy. At least I hope.

The point is old people are possibly lazier than me if they can’t much a pathetic three minutes under a dribbling tap.

And that, is a comforting thought.

I think.

There is an error at the NTGF website. It promises the next episode within 56 hours. That should read 560, or possibly 5600. I’m not sure.

I had a day off. I was going to finish Andy C. That’s good. I was about to go insane. That’s bad. So I caught a bus and spent the whole day in a place that wasn’t here. Tha’ts good. I saw Pirates of the Carribean and NO I’M NOT GOING TO REVIEW IT TOM!!! But it was nice. That’s bad. Actually it’s nice.

And thus the pattern was broken.

I also spent a bit of money. Seriously. Only a bit. Anyway if I spent a lot I certainly wouldn’t post it here. Sheesh. You think I want to endure the inevitably head shakes and people saying “Tsk Tsk”? I’m not stupid. I don’t lie about these things – I just neglect to mention it.

So what if I bought a gamecube game? IT WAS ON SALE!!! 50% off the marked price. I mean seriously, how can you say no to that? I’m usually of the opinion that it’s on sale for a reason, usually because it’s crap. This may turn out to be the case.

Now go away and let me find out.