Trust Me

 

Alias two nights a week? How can one reviewer cope? Well, she can’t. So I’ll be stepping in to review the Thursday episodes. To provide a little male perspective on the show — which is obviously needed, as Shannon doesn’t seem to properly appreciate just how sexy Jennifer Garner is. Of course, I’ve never seen the show before, so I have some ignorance too, just in different places.

The episode starts in three places. Somewhere, a woman is being locked up very carefully. She didn’t look particularly scary, but everyone else seemed very unsettled, so I’m assuming she’s either a master criminal or a victim of a lethal contagion that threatens to cover the earth. Somewhere else, a weaselly looking man is undergoing some slightly icky initiation ceremony. And in some dank alley, two very attractive people are talking. One of them is Jennifer Garner. Did her voice sound that chipmonk-ey in Daredevil?

Ah, who am I kidding? I know who all these people are. Channel 7 provided me with a helpful intro, explaining who’s bad, who’s good, who’s bad pretending to be good and who’s good pretending to be bad. I’ve got a handle on everyone. At first I thought this was probably going to be superfluous, and that the title sequence would probably have given me the insight I required.

Then I saw it. Does Alias have the most boring and uninspired title sequence I’ve ever seen on a show? Why, yes it does. My god. Spinning white letters. Man, that’s cool. I long for the days of Babylon 5‘s ever changing, always emotive title sequences and music. But enough of my sad bitching, onto the episode proper.

As Michael Vartan hesitantly approached the cell that holds Sydney’s Mum, I was reminded of the many cage scenes this season in Angel. Perhaps she’s a vampire. Vaughn seems pretty scared. What a baby. What’s the worst she can have done to him? At least he got up the guts to look at her, unlike certain sexy double agents we could mention. I’ll forgive Sydney however on the basis of the outfit she wears on her mission to get the film.

The central dilemma of the episode — should Sydney do what her mother tells her or not — is one we can all relate to. Mothers can be so controlling. While I found our voluptuous heroine’s five-minute conversation mid-mission with her real bosses somewhat unbelievably risky, it was a very tense moment, handled well. What was handled even better though was the resolution of this. We never found out what would have happened if she pulled the lever. Her mother’s comment on her return could be interpreted either as “You’re looking spooked and irritated, you didn’t press the lever” or “You’re looking healthy and you have your right hand, you didn’t press the lever.” I always like a bit of well-used ambiguity, and this was fairly impressive for a US action TV show.

In fact, apart from this childish resistance to doing what her mother tells her, I was fairly impressed with Sydney. She does a very nice drop off the balcony, and her laser torch is one of the fastest and most convincing I’ve seen. I wish she wouldn’t wear her hair straight back, but as Shannon complained about exactly the opposite thing last week I shan’t go on about it. I’m certainly impressed that she’s keeping up this ‘double agent’ lark so long. It must make for a stressful sort of life. Vaughn is less impressive. Was there some kind of pole up his arse in the night club? I’ve never seen someone look so out of place. This is probably as I don’t carry a mirror in nightclubs.

Having bagged the title sequence, I feel obliged to point out that the zooming words announcing the narrative settling on a new location are rather cool. The decision to use slow motion every single time anyone visits Mum could get old pretty fast though. Perhaps fast motion next week. This show looks like it needs a good comedy episode. Who’s up for an Alias / Benny Hill crossover?

Well, Benny Hill, for one.

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