Posts tagged ‘ipod’

Apple has gone and confused people (not that difficult) by naming the 2009 iPod event after a Rolling Stones song on the same day the Beatles are re-releasing all their albums.

That can only mean the perpetually rumoured Apple Tablet is coming. Except not really. The only thing certain – a professional pundit will complain afterwards that it was not announced, despite almost everyone else (besides shareholders) knowing that it wouldn’t be.

Will Steve Jobs be giving the keynote? Will the iPod Classic finally die the wretched death it deserves? Will the Apple TV get a Take 3 and become useful?

Pretty standard bunch of questions really, but regardless I’ll be on hand to relay the answers to all these questions as the keynote unfolds – answers laced with just enough vitriol to create the impression I’m not some kind of apple fanboy. Which I’m not. Or at least I won’t be after tomorrow if Apple does not announce HD television for the Australian iTunes store!

Seriously Apple. Fuck you. I can see it sitting there on the American store. If I wasn’t so lazy I would buy an American gift card from eBay.

So there it is. If you only read one live blog of this event, then I strongly recommend Arstechnica’s. Because that is what I’ll be plagiarising reading. But if you read two you could probably read Macworld’s because that is generally excellent. I won’t mind because strictly speaking mine won’t be a live blog. More like a delayed-by-ninety-thousands-of-minutes blog.

I’m sure as hell not getting up that early.

Some day in October, 2005. Huh. You ran out of batteries after just an hour the other day. You’ve been fine today though. Probably not worth worrying about.

Some day in September, 2005. It happened again. Maybe I should return you. CRAP! It would have been free if I’d done it yesterday. $100? Bugger that. I don’t want to look like a fool and return it so soon after the date. I’ll look very clever by wandering round with a dying iPod.

Some day in February, 2006. You’re out of batteries? But I haven’t even gotten to the train yet! You could at least have the grace to konk out when I get to work. I’m not walking with you again. I can’t cope with the disappointment. I’m sending you away.

11am, 10th June, 2006. Ah, you’ve come back. Did she treat you well? Was it fun backing up icky PC data? Has your battery magically repaired itself? Let’s have a go. How long can you play Dark Side of the Moon for?

11.10am, 10th June, 2006. Oh dear. Right, it’s time to take action. Do Apple take Boodles? I’ve got 50.

15th June, 2006, $100 later. You’re being “diagnosed” are you? I told Apple what the problem was with you. They don’t trust me. Bastards. Hopefully the diagnosis will be “too old” and you will be replaced with the ONE TRUE VIDEO IPOD.

16th June, 2006. The “issue” has been “identified”. I remain hopeful, but the picture on the site still depicts your classic, ‘no moving parts’ form. Perhaps you’ll have a new shiny metal back at the very least. I am struck by a fear that the “issue” is my brief installation of linux. I mean, they don’t say “issue addressed”. Just “identified”. I’d already done that, dammit. I wanted them to fix the issue.

9am, 21st June, 2006. You have been returned to me! And by “you” I mean a completely new replacement 3rd generation iPod! So very shiny. The letter I receive with you specifies that you retain the Soul of my old iPod (but not the R&B, or the Country). I’ll charge you up and take you to work. Where are my headphones?

9.10am, 21st June, 2006. Noooooooo! Where are my headphones? Dammit. One day more.

• June 1st: DS Lite released in Australia
• 2nd: iinet installs DSLAMs in Cheltenham and start transfering customers to faster broadband. We buy a faster modem.
• 3rd: Doctor doesn’t accidentally land in London and prevent an alien invasion.
• 4th: Angelina Jolie turns 31
• 5th: The one true iPod is supposed to be released but isn’t.
• 8th: Mario returns (For sickos who like old Italian plumbers with moustaches)
• 9th: Football World Cup begins. Get your betting caps on.
• 12th: Public Holiday. Woooooo!
• 14th: Lois and Clark season 1 DVD release
• 15th: Brain Training released.
• 17th: DS connection tour at Chadstone
• 18th: DS connection tour at Eastland
• 19th: Bug Off competition in Animal Crossing.
• 20th: World Juggling Day
• 25th: George Orwell turns 104
• 26th: The one true iPod isn’t released again.
• 29th: Superman Returns
• 30th: Superman’s Birthday. He got back just in time for presents.

I have recently developed a certain knack for falling asleep while standing on the train. Unfortunately there’s another skill you really should have in order to complement this ability, and that’s the power to stay upright while you’re sleeping standing up. Without this, it’s a useless ability. And it’s tricky to practice. Twice in two weeks I’ve almost fallen over in front of the whole train. Today, I also almost stole an old lady’s seat right in front of her because I thought I was making way for her to get out of the train. I don’t know when trains got this complicated.

How pretty’s that? Pretty pretty. You can get them in black, too, but only the top-of-the-range one. Because everyone wants the black. I’m staying with white though, because as has been pointed out, I’m a white supremacist. But I don’t forsee a time when I need a laptop. I do want a new iPod, though, one that can stop me from going to sleep on the train. But Apple keep holding out on delivering the

ONE

TRUE

VIDEO

IPOD

The bastards. I know they’ve got it hidden in Cupertino somewhere, I’ve read the rumour sites — and they speak truth, always. Or, if they don’t, they recap the truth so it sounds more like what they said.

Say, is there a cool website name that ends in -scape? No, never mind, let’s talk about something else.

While watching season four of The X-Files — which is quite good so far; the show continually confounds my usual ‘2-3 are the best seasons’ theory. Not that it’s really been awesome yet. It just keeps on keeping on. There’s perhaps been a slow improvement overall after a nadir in the early second season.

Ahem. Sorry, that was just supposed to be an aside. Er, while watching season four, and seeing Mulder flitting about between the various states, it occurred to me why Australians just aren’t as big on science fiction as everyone else on the planet. Americans, Europeans… they’re all used to driving, flying, translocating in any direction and coming across people really quickly. And so, they don’t really get the whole ‘space is really big and empty’ idea. And so, they’re quite happy to accept Star Trek finding a new planet all the time.

Australians understand space. They’re used to driving for over eight hours and finding nothing more interesting than Adelaide. They hear people say we’re light years upon light years from anything else and think, “Oh, right, no point exploring then. We might accidentally arrive in the universe’s Adelaide and we don’t want that.” And then they see Star Trek and wonder: didn’t they get the memo?

Or not. I’m not convinced, but sometimes things just bounce around in your head and you can’t get rid of them. Like the music in this what if Microsoft designed the iPod packaging? video hosted on YouTube.com (well, it was, and might be still at a different URL, but we’ll take this GoogleVideo link instead). Watch, and be similarly cursed. Andy asked me when YouTube.com turned up today and I had to admit I didn’t know. I hate to dash the poor kid’s hopes like that. He looks up to me so. Anyone else know?

So, the new iPods are out. As the rumour sites had been alternately predicting and denying, they play videos. The American iTunes Music Store has an arrangement with both ABC and Disney to offer such shows as Lost and Desperate Housewives as 320×240 movies for US$2 each.

So do I get one? To replace the struggling battery on my current iPod would cost me $100; the 30GB iPod is now $403 for a student and the 60GB is $538. And you can get them in black. Hmmm. I was kind of hoping that the iPod would have a widescreen, that would just be a very tall display normally, and then be turned on its side to watch TV. But that would have made it kind of a long iPod. The new ones are quite small, thinner than they’ve ever been before.

The idea of watching my innumerable TV DVDs re-encoded for iPod use on the train is appealing, but having black bars on an already teeny screen seems a waste. I also have a certain reluctance to get the ‘first generation’ of iPods with video.

Meanwhile my lovely iMac was superceded — the new ones come with built in webcams, a remote control (and software to show large-type menu options when using it) and a few smaller additions/subtractions. I’m vaguely jealous, but I’m also aware that this moment of supecession must come to all technology. Imagine how my iPod feels.

So… to iPod or not to iPod?

Everyone’s getting all political here, so let me fulfil my natural function as the one who talks about irrelevant crap.

I have just boosted my nerdiness somewhere into the geek zone by installing linux on my iPod. Oh yes, you heard right. Linux has cool games. I’m just concerned at the potential battery usage. It’s felt recently that the iPod just isn’t what it used to be, battery wise, and playing tetris is hardly going to help.

But still. GEEK! You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.