Posts tagged ‘film’

This year’s Oscars seem to be getting a bit of flak online. And by “getting a bit of flak”, I mean, every article about them I read is reasonably positive but starts by saying “This year’s Oscars seem to be getting a bit of flak.” People have been complaining that they’re boring. As someone pointed out, they say that every year. If you want more excitement, give Roberto Benigni some more Oscars. I haven’t seen Crash but no one seems happy about that either, not even Google. I can’t guarantee that that link will continue to be amusing.

The Oscars are an awards ceremony. Compared to school speech nights, they’re amazingly entertaining. And everyone’s waaaaay hotter. You’ve just got to keep your finger on the fast-forward button. Don’t watch it live. The only reason to watch it live is if you’re actually there, in which case, why are you even paying attention? Go get Keira Knightley to stop sitting next to Jack Nicholson and pay you some attention. Jon Stewart did a good job too. His humour was a bit nervous, but exactly in his style — which didn’t seem to always go down well with the audience. But then, I didn’t see Charlize Theron smile once, so there’s clearly no pleasing some people.

Anyhow, the purpose of this missive is to point out that the time is golden for a resurgence of that “Witherspoon” joke. It works best in the morning, ideally not when someone has just seen the news. Say “Oooh, did you hear about that girl who won the oscar, she was stabbed to death! I forget her name. Reece…” At some point, the person will say “Witherspoon,” to which you reply “No! With a knife!”

Comedy Gold. Go forth and make people groan and hit you.

It’s been a quiet time around the Grapefruit office while everyone’s away on summer break. Or at least, that sounds like a good excuse for the lack of things around here. I have been watching films and television, and playing games — I’ve just been a bit lax writing about them. I’ve only got three episodes of Battlestar: Galactica season one to watch and it’s still awesome. I won’t start reviewing it until I get to season two, though. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time was great, too — I’ll probably review it too, at some point. Yes, I’m a little behind.

We got the yellow pages the other day. L-Z is now sleek and black with yellow highlights, an inverted A-K. I reckon A-K must be getting jealous. L-Z looks awesome. Speaking of awesome redesigns, the DS got a whole lot more sexy yesterday (or rather, it will) after the announcement of the DS Lite. A hot Australia Day was made even more annoying when I had to wipe the drool off Andy’s keyboard as he gibbered in the corner.

Finally, X3 seems to be getting a subtitle: ‘The Last Stand’. I don’t like subtitles. I don’t know where to put them on reviews. When X2 came out I saw ‘X-Men United’ bandied around the place but it’s not on the actual film. IMDb calls it a “promotional title”. After the film’s release they’re lost in the mists of time. Besides, what’s the point of doing subtitles when “The Secret of the Ooze” has already been taken? Nothing’s going to top that. X3 is apparently “the conclusion of this trilogy” according to some 20th Century Fox executive. I like how studio bosses are getting artistically involved in movies these days.

Warning: the following review may contain coarse language, and puppet sex. Continue reading at your discretion.

No, no, not that Jackson. This one. Peter Jackson was interviewed recently by Paul Fischer about the upcoming Halo film (which he’s producing) and gave some really straightforward replies:

Question: You’re still producing Halo?
Jackson: Yeah.
Question: What attracted you to Halo?
Jackson: I’m a fan of the game.
Question: But video game movies suck.
Jackson: They do.
Question: So what will be different?
Jackson: Hopefully it won’t suck.
Question: But why not direct?
Jackson: I want a break. I want to have the fun but not the hard work. I just want to be part of the creative team but not actually have the pain.

He may have screwed up The Return of the King, but he’s a good apple. I feel reasonably confident that a Halo film with him involved will rock considerably. Mind you, I’ve chosen not to read the (well received) leaked script. Some people out there probably know whether it’ll suck or not. But not me.

Oh, and just a quick mention that there’s an X-Men 3 trailer out. It’s… loud and impressive looking, but there’s not much hint at plot. Ah, it’s useless to try and work things out from trailers sometimes. I’ll just wait patiently.

Bloody sound issues bloody packed cinema bloody quiet bloody broken bloody one stinking free ticket bloody half-way though bloody opening night bloody near-riot bloody stupid bloody.