Tom Charman

The release of the original Star Wars trilogy on DVD approaches, and I decided that details of any changes must have surfaced on the net. And of course they have — I found a summarised list of changes courtesy of Terribly Mauled.

Episode IV: A New Hope

• New Jabba the Hutt
• Improved Han/Greedo scene — its a CGI Han and they both shoot at the same time now
• Aurabesh on the tractor beam generator that Obi Wan deactivates.
• Lightsaber colours tweaked.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

• Ian McDiarmid plays the Emperor in his hologram conversation with Vader. The dialogue has also been changed slightly.
• Temeura Morrison (Jango Fett) now voices Boba too.
• Luke’s scream during his suicide plunge down Bespin’s main shaft has been removed

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

• Sebastian Shaw has been tweaked in the unmasking scene. He now has blue eyes to match Hayden Christensen, and he has no eyebrows — more fitting for a burns victim.
• Naboo appears in the victory celebration scene, complete with Gungans.
• The Jedi Temple can be seen on Coruscant in the same scene.
• Hayden Christensen now appears as spirit Anakin.

Personally, I’m delighted that the scream in ESB has gone — that was my major wish. Having a CGI Han for the Greedo scene seems unnecessary when they had a perfectly good scene just waiting for them to put back properly. At least they’ve realised it needed changing.

In any case, I’m looking forward to the 22nd of September. Shiny case.

Top Ten TV-Shows? Note: My Favourites, not the Best of All Time. There’s a difference. You’ll see.

OK, this may be going a bit far with the “I know! I’ll write a top ten instead of a review that way I can just waffle instead of having to actually think” mania that I seem to have adopted for myself. I will be thoroughly surprised if this one actually makes a grapefruit appearance as I have been a third of the way through a non-insane Buffy Top Ten and a Top 25 Movies for about a year the former, and 6 months the latter. Oh and there was that “Bottom 10 Buffies” as well, but it was so hard to narrow down to only 10 that I gave up and had a cry about a series that started oh-so-promisingly… Anyway, back to GOOD series…

What I really wanted to do here was a four-way tie for Number 1, but then, that would defeat the whole ‘ranking’ idea. I need to be clear though that the difference between my appreciation of my top four shows is so miniscule that its defies measurement. My mood for today has caused 1 — 4 to shape up that way, and tomorrow I may very well play switcheroo just for the sake of it. And to annoy Tom.

My Top 10 has morped into a ’12 that I will haphazardly mention for their various coolnesses’, plus a top 10. I warned you at the start, this is prattle for the sake of varying authorship on Grapefruit. I’m taking one for the team, and as such cannot be bagged. Ner.

In descending order, first of all, to get the hysterical laughter out of your systems, I am going to mention…

22 | Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

Now, when this show came out in 1993 I was all of 9, and I fell right in the middle of the demographic for this one: a fantasy edge for the intelligently challenged. I had a big crush on Dean Cain, I taped every episode (which were promptly overwritten a year or so later in shame), and I even remember the elation of buying the Lois and Clark showbag at the royal melbourne show in ’94. I kid you not. Folders, pencil cases, stickers… I was one of those pre-teeny girly fanatics that I now shoulder extreme distaste for. Why am I unloading this blackmail-worthy information on your innocent eyes, gentle readers? Who knows. It’s a Saturday, I can do what I like.

21 | Party of Five

The drama-arena to suit every taste: The older-scruffier-stubble-ridden brother, the younger pretty-boy looking brother, the eldest teen-angst-ridden sister, and the youngest sister around my age who I suppose was the one I was meant to identify with. No doubt you boys had the crush on her. It was the early-90’s Dawson’s Creek, which my tv set told me last week was the late 90’s The O.C., which I refuse to watch but my darling brother seems somewhat addicted to. Hmm, where did I put my point?

20 | Ally McBeal

Down here at number 20 on the list come Ally McBeal. This show got a good giggle out of me, and I liked a number of the characters, however (and this is a big however) the lead character irritated me beyond words. As a result, I could rarely stomach the show, despite Gil Bellows’ and Robert Downey Jnr’s respective cuteness.

Moving right along to the sole Australian contender…

19 | Blue Heelers

If you happen to turn on your plasma this Wednesday and flick over to the seven network, you will not be watching the show of which I speak. Blue Heelers: The Good Seasons, as I am renaming it, consisted of a cast including William McInnes, Tasma Walton, Damian Walshe-Howling, and oh yeah, Lisa McCune. Ten years later, there are only two originals left. While I’m sure there exist some series which can sustain a life this long and the gradual exodus of their finest characters (I’m thinking primarily of ER, which for blood and guts reasons, I don’t happen to watch) but Blue Heelers is not amoung those that can pull it off. The desperation of Aussie drama to measure up to some of its American or UK rivals was witnessed in the insanity that was the “Blue Heelers: Live” episode. However, with budgets that I estimate to be about a 1,000,000,000,000,000,000th of what the US and UK put into making their shows, I still think aussies do OK.

18 | Beverly Hills 90210

If I could think of some creative way to segue from Blue Heelers into Beverly Hills 90210, I would, but I suspect it would just creep everyone out so I’ll just be quick, like ripping a band-aid off. Again, early 90’s (1990-1994 were the high school years, mini Shannon was aged 6 — 10), pre-teen girly-girl fanatic would have literally held her for breath for an entire week waiting to see if Dylan would choose Brenda or Kelly, if she hadn’t posessed just enough intelligence to realise this would result in her death and then she would NEVER KNOW who he chose.1. OK, I’m half-kidding here. I would like to say I never watched nor enjoyed this show, but it would be a lie. 90210: The High School Years, had me. Through and through.

17 | Seinfeld

“No Soup for You!!”. Enough said? Aaah, Sienfeld. What can one say? This was just a really good show. Being a half-hour sitcom, it was good for that slot on weeknights as you wait for the show you actually want to watch to come on… But that’s not really giving this gem enough credit. While it will never hold a place in my heart like a good fantasy/sci-fi or even one hour drama can, on the scale of ‘good-for-a-laugh’, it was a porker!

And from there I’m going to…

16 | Play School

Even now I can sit with my cousins and watch Play School and catch myself smiling. Yes, its a show for toddlers. So what? This is a listing of my favourite shows, and since I have been placing no boundaires on which era of my life it happened to be my favourite in, Play School cannot be forgotten. Benita, Noni, Phillip, and Monica taught me numbers, letters… BLAME THEM for this article, I wouldn’t be able to write it without them.

Going straight from Play School to Coupling would be just too large a leap, so I’m segueing with…

15 | Dawson’s Creek

I’m not sure how this show ended. I don’t know who ended up with whom. I didn’t watch the last several seasons. All I know is, I liked it in the beginning. And that’s really all there is to say about this show. It was a hearty dose of teen melodrama when I was a teen melodramatic. It suited me just fine.

14 | Mad About You

I come now to Mad About You (we’re getting to Coupling, I swear). Paul Reiser, Helen Hunt, and some very simple yet beautifully executed storylines. The characters were really loveable, right down to their dog Murray. The supporting characters (and the leads, for that matter) had the perfect balance of comic insanities and realistic natures. There weren’t so quirky that you couldn’t identify (either with them yourself, or with the people in your life), yet they weren’t so real as to be dull.

13 | Coupling

If you’ve seen Coupling quotes randomly loading as you peruse Grapefruit sometimes (ie “When man invented fire, he didn’t say, ‘Hey, let’s cook,’ he said, ‘Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!” or quite simply “Nipples!”) and wondered what on earth that show is, it’s an unsung BBC series which provokes the loudest out-loud laughing you will ever do. I get embarassed by my laugh when watching this show becuase it’s the kind of unrestrained laughter that makes me sound like a gander in mating season. Spanning four years, but with only 7 episodes a season on average, there have been a grand total of 28 over four years. Few, but fulgent.

If you’re a boy who’s ever met a girl and been slightly baffled, or a girl who’s ever met a boy and been utterly perplexed, watch this show. It boils them down to their simplest. And they talk about sex every 6.2 seconds. Even if you’re gay, you’ll like it. I don’t know why its hiding over on the ABC in Australia instead of running right alongside Sex and the City on commercial TV, but hey — commerical TV are the people who brought you Big Brother: Yet Another Season, so nothing can really surprise me.

Coming in at number 12…

12 | Gilmore Girls

This is for the girly girl in me. I would love to say I don’t watch this one currently, but seeing as channel nine plays it on Saturdays when other fans (who don’t have a life) are free, I download it! I know… the shame. But look, give it a chance. Its a WB show so you know its got some of those ‘good family values’ themes (think Seventh Heaven) but its also got really great writers working on it (think Angel… well, discount season 4). The dialogue in this show is The Best Dialogue on Television. Their style of speech is really refreshing. It’s a bit like the way the Dawson’s Creek kids used to talk, except that you can believe that the characters of Gilmore Girls actually know what all these big words mean. The two main characters in this dramedy are a first-year college girl who did well in school and kind of breezed past teen-rebellion into a quiet maturity, and her mother whom she has a sensational relationship with. Can you really blame me for liking it?? Plus it’s got all the other things I like in my TV — plenty of sexual tension, lots of cute boys running around, and characters who actually progress and develop over the seasons. If only it had flashbacks it would be perfect!

And for my final ramble, before I move onto the official rambling of my top ten…

11 | Stargate Atlantis

I am enjoying this new series more than I am season eight of Stargate SG-1 at the moment. It is very similar to SG-1 (which as you will see in the top ten is one of my all time faves) in a lot of ways, but hey its a spin-off, what do we expect? It is also different in its own right, and breaks away from SG-1 in a way that I didn’t think it would be able to do. There are the core four characters. One of whom is a high-ranking military officer and the leader, one of whom is a smart woman, one of whom is an alien, (and one of whom is a black dude, as Matt pointed out to me yesterday), its just that the woman happens to be the alien and the science geek is Dr. MacKay (of the SG-1 series).

The ‘Jack-equivalent/replacement’ was always going to be a very difficult character to create and cast, but they’ve hit right on the money. I already love John Sheppard, more so than I ever did Jack perhaps. He’s less sarcastic, but still quite funny and is very personable. There is plenty of sexual tension between Teyla and Sheppard and unlike on SG-1 where we knew it could never happen (literally, for legal reasons) these two are so gonna get together by the end of this season… I can feel it! Maybe the start of season two… Well look, I can at least dream that they will get together because they are setting up the sexual tension and there is no pesky court-martial hanging over their heads. Dr. MacKay, whom I HATED WITH A FIERY PASSION OF HELL in SG-1, is also growing on me. He’s still supremely ittirating, but now in kind of an endearing way. Plus, he cracks me up. And Lt. Ford is the hotty. Mmm. Anyway, it is still too soon to see if this show can live up to the high standards I am giving it, 7 episodes in, but its shaping up to be as Angel was to Buffy.

Footnotes

1. He chose Kelly for those of you wondering. Big dramas. He SO should have picked Brenda.

Just a quick entry to say that I’ve finally worked out why Physics is such a hassle to learn — It’s because there are no useful resources (that I can find) on the internet. Google searches for specific topics come up with a bunch of commercial applications and over-your-head lecture notes with completely different notations to the ones you’re used to.

Has anyone seen a good site devoted to Physics online? “Anyone” probably being Andrew, or Matt. I absolutely refuse to buy any of these $150 textbooks.

When thinking about Joss Whedon’s cancelled series Firefly, I find it hard not to be reminded of J. Michael Strazynski’s Crusade. Both went for about half a season before getting dumped. Both had to come up with new first episodes to satisfy their studio. Both had a roguish, moody captain. Both tried doing the whole “no sound in space” thing accurately. Both have people occasionally strutting around in uniforms that make them look like bellhops.

There’s a difference, of course, in that Firefly doesn’t suck.[ftn]

There were two theories you could draw from the gradual decline of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. One was that Whedon and his crew were running out of ideas. The other was that they were running out of ideas that could be done in the Buffy format. On watching the intended first episode of Firefly, ‘Serenity’, it becomes clear that only the latter was true. Like any good first episode should be, ‘Serenity’ is packed to the gills with fresh plotting and good characters.

Captain Mal Reynolds helps a ship known as Serenity, leading a band of criminals about a universe regulated by the cold arm of the Alliance. Reynolds was on the losing side of the civil war that granted the Alliance this dominance, and is suitably embittered. In the first episode, the crew take on some new passengers, and find themselves desperately trying to unload wanted cargo for cash — while avoiding the dangers of both the Alliance and the Reavers.

The Reavers are not, however, any creepy kind of alien race. While the show is abundant with every piece of culture the creators could find, there are no alien beings to be seen. Reavers are humans from the outskirts of known space who have been driven homicidally insane, and are feared by everyone in the universe, including even the toughest of our intrepid crew. While I’m normally all in favour of aliens, the decision to make an alien-free science fiction series is a good one in order to both differentiate Firefly from Star Trek, but also to accentuate the show’s key genre — the Western.

Yes, there may not be aliens, but there are horses, and deserts, and really cool old-fashioned looking guns. And the western element also goes some way to explaining where the majority of Firefly‘s drama comes from — tension. The episode moves a bit slower than your average TV show — but I found myself on the edge of my seat repeatedly. This is helped further by the soundless space, which works for Firefly and not against it as it did to Crusade. Perhaps we can hit a general rule here — if your show involves complicated space battles with big explosions — screw phyiscs and make yourself some booms. But if all you’re likely to be doing in space is hiding and running, then no sound will probably work better for you.

Firefly‘s characters also make a good impression. A lot of Whedon’s characters in the past have started as cliches and then been fleshed out later. These ones hit the ground running, for the most part. Mal especially is fantastic — brutal, funny, unreasonable, sensible. Just the kind of contradictions I like in a character, and brilliantly acted to boot. I won’t bother listing all the actors here, but Jewel Staite is amazingly adorable as Kaylee,[ftn] while Sean Maher’s nervous yet brave doctor, Simon, makes a very strong impression.

The only real tragedy of this tense, beautiful episode is that it wasn’t transmitted where it should have been — at the start of the show. In fact, American viewers got to see it last. “Last is kinda like first… it just comes a bit later,” comments Tim Minear in the next episode’s[ftn] commentary, quietly avoiding calling Fox idiots for not liking this episode and insisting on a new first story written in a weekend. But they are. Because this would have been one of the best first episodes of a series ever.

Footnotes

1. Did Crusade suck? Only in the sense that it had godawful dialogue, some woeful acting, and the most pathetic musical score in the history of TV.
2. Canadian as it turns out — no wonder. And 22 years old. Get me a plane, I’m going back.
3. ‘The Train Job’, not such a good episode really. More on that later though.

Ah, such fun for the EMS Orchestra to play at the prestigious Dean’s Honours Awards, where students in the top 3% of their class are given little blue scrolls and shiny keyring lights. Though all of them we imagine were disappointed because at first glance the lights seemed like laser pointers.

I remember when people used to call out my name and I’d walk up on stage, shake someone’s hand, and get an award. If I were making excuses I’d point out that the prizes aren’t nearly as good these days. But really, the motivation has just faded away. I wish it hadn’t, I remember how much fun it was when you actually enjoyed doing assignments.

However, apart from a vague, creeping sense of futurelessness, it doesn’t really bother me much. I wonder if you can get vague feelings of impending doom surgically removed?

The other night, Apple released their brand new iMac computer — replacing the previous model which looked like a little dome with a screen sticking out of it.

This model is just one big screen, with the computer completely enclosed. At first, I was kind of non-committal, but by midday today I was head-over-heels in love with it. A slot-loading dvd-r/cd-rw drive on the side of your screen — how cool is that? For about $300 cheaper than the lowest model G5 Macintosh, I can get myself a brand new 20 inch LCD screen and an extra 80 gigabyte hard drive.

Alright, so I have to sacrifice one pesky processor. As if they’re any use. But I think I might have to get this baby. Er, when I’ve got money. My time will come.

When it does, I’ll have a large, tower-shaped gap in my computer desk, though. Please make suggestions as to what to fill it with now, so that I’m sure by the time my iMac arrives.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the final season of a long running dramatic series cannot do a comedy episode for it’s third last episode. Apparently. Personally, I’ve always enjoyed Angel‘s ability to switch genres at the drop of a hat, and let’s face it — things hadn’t really been very funny recently. I needed something to cheer me up.

And so, we switch from the previous episode’s hints of Angel suddenly acting a bit callous and nasty, to a fun filled romp where Spike and Angel travel to Italy to save Buffy from … the Immortal. One of the vampiric pair’s most hated foes once upon a time, we had never seen the Immortal before in either series — and we still haven’t. Nor, in fact do we see Buffy. Your mileage on whether this is funny may vary. I like a bit of mixing between the fiction and reality[ftn], so I enjoyed it.

The danger of a story where two characters are trying to find someone and never do is that it makes them look like complete fools. Angel and Spike don’t quite come out of this unscathed — but there is the handy excuse that when it comes to Buffy, they don’t think straight, which is pretty well established. Still, even Angelus and … Spike aren’t quite acting at their most sharp in the flashbacks. Some people will have issues with dumbing down characters to do a comedy. I personally don’t, as long as the jokes are up to scratch. And for the most part, they are.

The interplay between Spike and Angel that has gently helped every episode this year now comes to the fore, and is always good. The fight in the bar, their discussions in the plane, and one moment in particular that must be one of the ten most funny Angel moments ever. As well as some great, silly flashbacks. There are a few misses too, however. The Italian demons are alright I suppose, but not particularly amusing. The head of Wolfram & Hart in Italy is amusing at first but then keeps on talking for ages without a sign of a joke. Her huge cleavage feels like setup to a gag — but nothing ever comes out of it, aside from vaguely flustered looks from the vampires.

This episode does contain a repeat visit from Andrew, one-time evil genius of Sunnydale. Though Andrew was one of the only bright spots for me in the unbearable pain that was Buffy‘s seventh season, it would have been nice to see a more integral character. Personally, I always wanted to see Angel and Xander meet up again. But since the plot really only needs someone who tells them that Buffy isn’t home and to come back later, it’s not particularly important. Though Andrew going out for dinner with two beautiful women while professing how important it is to change concerns me.[ftn]

Of course, the best part of this episode has nothing to do with the leads, and everything to do with Wesley and Illyria. Amy Acker stuns as she switches between good ol’ texas twang Fred and the deep-voiced former omnipotent goddess. Alexis Denisof is given even more to work with as the broken, pained ex-Watcher. These two are even better to watch than Wesley and Lilah were. Clearly, Wes is more suited to evil women.

And so we have an episode that is funny, but with some dodginess, that probably should have been transmitted one or two episodes back. But comedy has always been a big part of Angel and I’m glad we got one more in before the end.

Footnotes

1. Sarah Michelle Gellar was busy filming the remake of Japanese horror film Ju-On. I’m glad she’s moved beyond Scooby-Doo.
2. Partially in the sense that I’m not sure what message it’s sending to gay Buffy fans, but more because, if a character was going to turn heterosexual again, couldn’t it have been Willow? I won’t be happy until she and Xander are together again.[ftn]
3. Not strictly true.

Oooh! Oooh! A Farscape: Peacekeeper Wars trailer is up at apple.com!

And looking darned cool, as well.

So, there I am, wandering back to work after trying out James’ favourite Subway sub, and oops! — there’s JB Hi-Fi’s DVD superstore. Better go in then. Better check out the TV DVDs, and make sure that the Babylon 5 box-sets aren’t disappearing any time soon. They’re $55 for an entire season currently, and I don’t want them to disappear. Ideally, I want them to go down in price again, though $55 is pretty cheap.

There’s a pile as tall as me of the damn things though, so I think I’m safe waiting for the moment. Besides, what did I spy but Joss Whedon’s 14-episode long sci-fi series, Firefly. The novelty of purchasing TV episodes that I hadn’t seen was too much to resist.

$60 later, I’ve got me a lovely little 4-disc box set, crammed full with commentaries and other goodies. I’ll have to review the buggers I guess.

Yes, I know, you’re all a bit bored of grapefruit redesigns, they happen every other week. But still, here’s another one for your enjoyment. I’ve stolen the previous ones, in the interest of being able to add new things to grapefruit and not have to theme them three times. Hopefully this design will stick around for a while and become more polished.

The weblogs will get the same sweetness soon.

In other news — there are 6 stale cinnamon buns in the kitchen which I don’t particularly want to eat; The Journal of Alexia has reached it’s thrilling yet melancholy conclusion; Self-esteem is for everybody; and for some reason the 17th episode in Alias‘ first season was a clip show. How do you get away with a clip show so early on, and why bother at number 17?

Enquiring minds want to know.