I love heroes. A film with a good hero in it will always please me. And there are some good ones out there. Westley. Indiana Jones. Li Mu Bai. Luke Skywalker. Angel. The Doctor. These are the people that give the word ‘hero’ a good name. But there’s always folks out there ready to ruin it for the rest of them. I won’t bother listing these people, although generic hollywood action blockbusters are chock-full of them. Because of these sub-par heroes, the word has gained a corny, useless feel. Calling a movie Hero is therefore a bit dangerous. Right off the bat, the audience expects you to be rather cheesy. If you’re going to call a movie Hero, you’d better have a solid hero up your sleeve. Someone who’ll face adversity, who’ll make difficult decisions.
No. That’s not how it was. Well, it is a bit but it’s only part of the story. Here’s how it really happened.
I still remember seeing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for the first time. It started off slowly, yet delicately. The characters were beautifully written and acted. Their sadness and longing had well and truly hooked you from the start. And then they started flying about and having awesome swordfights. I can hardly imagine a more perfect film. Having seen few Chinese films[ftn] before, I began to think — there’s a whole country of awesome films out there, waiting for me. And then I read about Hero in a design magazine. And a few months later, it turns up in cinemas. And all the time, people are mentioning Crouching Tiger. Some are even saying Hero is better.
No, no, I’ve forgotten something. The story actually goes like this. Forget those last two bits. Here’s the truth.
In The Age, Jim Schembri gave Hero a poor review. He complained about the boring Chinese history bits, and some other things.[ftn] “You’re an idiot, Jim,” I ranted. “You’re useless and irritating. How can Chinese history be boring? History is always fascinating! You didn’t like X2! You’re a fool!” Jim said nothing, largely because he wasn’t there. I never agree with Jim. He’s the most reliable reviewer I know of, after a fashion.
Yes, I think that is how it happened. We may now continue.
The hero in Hero (a.k.a. Ying Xiong) does one or two vaguely heroic things, but in such a painfully constructed situation that you won’t care.
This film isn’t a quarter of the film Crouching Tiger was. It’s not an eighth. It’s not a sixteenth. To rival it, well, it would need characters and a compelling story.
I agree with Jim Schembri for the first time since the dawn of humanity, and it sickens me.
It’s hard to pick exactly what the worst thing about Hero is, so let me pick the best thing. This film is gorgeous to watch. Really, very pretty. The use of colours, while not particularly subtle, looked really cool. I presume we have digital grading[ftn] to thank for this, and yet again I am thankful for it. Unfortunately, prettiness without substance can get a bit boring. And this movie does end up like the film equivalent of Enya. If I’d been able to do something else while I watched it would have been alright. But this movie doesn’t command the attention.
Jet Li plays Nameless, the eponymous ‘hero’, quite straight. I can’t fault him — it’s clearly how the part was written. Nameless is a dedicated, disciplined warrior. Or, really boring, depending on how you like to phrase things. The supporting cast aren’t much better — and due to an unfortunate narrative decision for the movie, you’re guaranteed to be absolutely sick of them before any interesting character traits are revealed. I’m against detailing the plot in a film review, but let me just say that if you see someone do the same marginally interesting thing three times running, you might get a little sick of it. Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung Chiu Wai are clearly good actors, but their roles are so melodramatic that I was sick of them by the end. In a terrible tragedy, we see more of Jet Li’s naked body than we do Zhang Ziyi’s, though she’s still cute as ever, and one of the more interesting people in the film. Sometimes.[ftn]
This film has gotten a bit of hype for its philosophy. There’s a bit of a “killing is bad” motto in there, you see. It hardly warrants a paragraph, but I thought I’d better put one in. I didn’t miss it, folks. But I’ve seen a lot of films with that moral. I’m not saying the film is stupid, but it’s not exactly brimming with thought and insight either.
There’s a lot of the ol’ Chinese action in this film too. Those who didn’t get acclimatised to all the floating in Crouching Tiger might have a hard time adjusting. In Ang Lee’s film, the economy and frequency of the fights were nicely managed. When a fight started, you were really hanging out for it — and they were so clever and complex that you were sated afterwards, and willing to wait a while for the next one. In Hero, all the fights are much the same, with a bit of flying, and beautiful backgrounds, but not much actual interaction with the scenery. Amusingly — or depressingly — the already repetitive fight scenes are on occasion actually repeated. It’s enough to make one reach for one’s own sword.
The film has a bit to say about Chinese history. I said earlier that history was always fascinating. I stand by this. Hero presents us with kindergarten-level history. Once upon a time there was one Emperor-King-guy who wanted all of China — which wasn’t called China back then, you know — to be united, and he did this by an awful lot of conquering. In this case, children, the ends justified the means. That sometimes happens. Watch out for it. Give me strength. Having one historical figure, a ‘hero’, three assassins and a cartoonish army as the only characters really doesn’t help add the necessary verismilitude to the story, anyhow.
Let me finally talk about the narrative. People have compared the story to Rashomon. That’s an interesting comparison. I won’t harp on, but let me just say that the reason Rashomon and similar stories work so well is because the characters believe that what they’re saying is true. Then you learn things about the characters, and everything you see seems relevant. If people are just lying, or guessing, then — well, it’s not quite as interesting, sorry. Especially if all the stories are really similar. I’m not saying it couldn’t work, I’m just saying, you’d need something else.
Hero only has pretty colours to fall back on. If you enjoy colours, and felt ripped off by the Three Colours Trilogy because they turned out to be about France, then this is your film.
Footnotes
- Well, two now.
- Let no one say Grapefruit articles aren’t well researched. Look, I couldn’t find the paper, alright? I think Mum threw it out.
- Ew! Sorry about that. Try this link instead.
- Having taken the piss out of silly names like Iron Arm and Big Wang in Crouching Tiger, Zhang now recants, and gets to be called ‘Moon’. Jet Li cleverly dodges the whole business.