Jess

 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Okay, I take back everything negative I said about Christmas! Because I finally found the true meaning of it: And no, its none of that goody-two shoes crap you hear about the Gift of Giving. It’s PRESENTS! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, presents. I love presents!

And being a teacher at this time of year rocks! I have gotten so many freakin’ awesome presents. And none of those little jars with candy or mugs that say #1 Teacher. I mean gift certificates to the mall and the coffee shop, CDs of artists I love, cool body and bath kits, and so much more.

And the kids are so darn happy to give me stuff. It’s great. They love watching me open the gifts. And making me wear the bows and ribbon from the gift. But I don’t mind that. Ah, what a wonderful holiday!

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Class Pet

My students are insane. I want to get a class pet and am having a damn hard time figuring out what to get. They do not want anything cute and cuddly, so all forms of rodents are out. We were interested in turtles but we can’t have one because they carry diseases. Same with iguanas. So, what do my darling five-year-olds want?

A spider.

Yes, you read that correctly, they want a spider. And not just your garden variety spider, they want a Tarantula. Yes, they are insane. They even made a list of reasons why they want a spider. And I have to admit, they have some pretty decent reasons.

  1. They want to pet a spider.
  2. They want to feel a spider crawl up their arms.
  3. They want to watch a spider weave a web.
  4. They want to watch a spider burrow in the ground (which we learned tarantulas do)
  5. They want to watch a spider climb the walls of the terrarium.
  6. They want to watch a spider lay eggs
  7. They want to watch the eggs hatch.

But the number one reason they want a spider: They want to see a girl spider eat a boy spider!

Yes, my students are insane! Hope everyone is having happy holidays.

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I hate Christmas!

That’s it, I hate Christmas. Yes, and hello to all of you too. Sorry, I was hoping to do my first blog about something fun and happy, like unicorns or bunnies, or something, but I just can’t because it’s that time of the year, and I hate it!

Why do I hate it? I’m sure most of you couldn’t care less why I do, but I’m going to write it down anyway.

  1. The damn long lines. I went to the stupid store today to get presents for my family and some friends. I knew what I was getting and where in the store to get everything, so it shouldn’t have taken that long, but noooooooooo, everybody and their damn grandmother also had to be getting crap, so the place was crowded and the lines were long and all I could think of was Ellen Degeneres telling me to find my happy place and how I could easily ram a shopping cart into the legs of the old lady in front of me and make a bee line for the exit.

  2. Gifts. Aaargh! Why do people have to be so damn hard to buy for? Stop dropping hints for what you want to get and then have me go out and buy it for you only for said person to have bought it for themselves the day before. Dammit! You just won’t get a present!

  3. Planning Holiday activities for my kids. And those are the kids I teach; no I haven’t had any children in the last few years. Do you know how hard it is to plan activities that all can do without them being religious or offensive in some way. I swear, I am about to give up.

So, pass me some eggnog and let this damn holiday season end already! Oh and Happy Holidays everyone!

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Awesome. Spectacular. Stunning.

Okay, I think with those words you probably know how I felt about the new Harry Potter movie. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the first two. I thought they were great starts at initiating a wider audience to the wizarding world of Harry Potter. But this new chapter in the Harry Potter saga (at least when dealing with the movies) was a mind blowing experience. From the first frame I could tell that it would be a different interpretation of J. K. Rowling’s world. The cinematography alone was outstanding. The way that Cuaron was able to put the movie together made it more captivating than the first two and move at a faster pace. There was never really any downtime in this film. Steve Kloves did a fabulous job writing the script.

The Prisoner of Azkaban has always been my favorite book of the saga, so I was anxious about how this movie would be. So much occurs in this book. It is a turning point in the Potter saga. Voldemort is no longer the only enemy that Harry faces. We learn more about the death of Harry’s parents and the wizarding world. The book also delves into the relationships between Harry, Ron and Hermione. And we meet some very important people, who will have a great impact on the next couple of books (yay, Sirius and Lupin!). Would this film do it justice? My answer to that question is yes.

Cuaron’s vision of Hogwarts was more realistic than that of Christopher Columbus. The dark and dreary look of the sets created the atmosphere that was needed for the movie. The third book is much darker than its predecessors, setting the mood for the next two books. The new layout of Hogwarts reflected this in the almost gothic architecture of the clock tower. The relationships between the characters seemed to be real relationships. Instead of simply reciting the lines and movements that they were given the children seemed to actually be acting! The conversations that the students had with one another as they moved through the hall and during the first Fat Lady scene showed the kids being kids. They joked around with one another. They antagonized one another (“Dementor!” Malfoy and the gang then going “Oooh.” Haha!) They acted like kids their age should act.

The special effects were a step above the other two films. Whoever created Buckbeak should win an award for the brilliance behind it. Never once did I think that Beaky was a computer-animated image. He moved on the screen as though he were really there. The werewolf, well, it was a great special effect, but not really the werewolf I had imagined. It was decent and the scenes with the werewolf were done very well, but aren’t they supposed to be hairy?

The acting ability of the kids has improved greatly with each movie. They are able to play off one another in their scenes, though there is still some room for improvement. The new cast members did a superb job with their roles. Emma Thompson was great as Professor Trelawney. She looked as batty as she appears in the books, though I do wish she had said the prophecy from the book. David Thewlis’ Lupin was as compassionate as I had imagined him to be. And the boggart scene with him was hysterical. Did anyone else pick up the song Swing, Swing, Swing, from another of John Williams’ movies? Gary Oldman embodied Sirius Black. He was able to play him perfectly as both a raving madman and the not-so-raving man. Michael Gambon did a nice job with Professor Dumbledore. I think that he was able to show some of the qualities Richard Harris’ Dumbledore lacked. Put the two together and then I think we would have the true embodiment of Dumbledore.

My one great criticism would be where the hell was Oliver Wood?!? Dammit, this was the last book he was really in, and I wanted to see him! Gryffindor wins the Quidditch Cup, this is a big deal. Not entirely important to the story but still, I had to deal with no Sean Biggerstaff (who plays Wood). Ah, the sacrifices.

But, beside the fact that there is no Sean Biggerstaff, the movie was a great adventure ride. And really, I could write more, but I think I’ll go and see it again instead.

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