This movie[ftn] takes me back. It reminds me of the good old days, playing in the St Leonard’s soccer B-team. What fun we had! Those were good times, friends, good times. We had assembled the best of everyone not on the A-team.

I led the team wearing the number 1. They called me Empty Hands and nothing could get past me.

In midfield we had Tom ‘Weight Vest’ Charman. No one could leap higher than him with that belly.

Iron Head Hayko and Andrew Iron Shirt were in defense. No ball could get past them.

Matt aka Mighty Steel Leg was up front kicking the goals. No one could stop his flaming kicks.

Neil the Hooking Leg played midfield. No one knows what his nickname means.

We were coached by a lame man, old Golden Leg himself. He had no real effect on the game. He just assembled the squad and we did our thing.

We trained long and hard to try to win that Soccer Championship and the million dollars. To this day, I still recall our final match against Eltham College’s Team Evil. Team Evil was led by an ex-team mate of ours, Conrad ‘I Am So Evil’ Truscott.[ftn] He had become everything we fought against. I remember his cruel laughing face most of all.

It was a very physical game. They were a brutal team. The strength of their kicks made my hands bleed. When the going got tough, our weak teammates fled. We were down to the minimum number of players. This was it.

But no one came to save us and we lost like 14-0 or something. It was very depressing. Let us never speak of it again.

I really liked this film. It’s a wacky, fun film. The special effects are cartoon-like and combined with impressive camera work. It has funny, original wirework instead of the usual Matrix ripoff. The plot is the standard underdog team of misfits trying to win the championship. These aren’t your ordinary misfits; Stephen Chow gives a great performance trying to reunite his brother monks and his suppporting cast are hilarious. I’ve never seen such a lovable group of misfits. If it wasn’t so funny, it’d be cruel they way the good guys beat some of the other lesser teams.

Finally a quick whinge about Miramax. This film was released in Hong Kong three years ago. Miramax decided to do a limited release here with half an hour missing and horrible dubbing. The American trailers have digital underpants put on the goalie. A film this good is undeserving of such treatment.

Footnotes

1. 4 hit combo, 42% damage, Tom.
2. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

450

This entry was posted by the illustrious Andy Cocker on Tuesday, November 9th, 2004. It concerns such pressing issues as . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.