I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there have been a lot of comic book movies out there recently. Let’s call it a subtle trend. What’s interesting to me is that only by seeing the trailer — or sometimes, by hearing the casting details — you can usually tell which of two categories they fall into. These categories are, of course:

1. Awesome and exciting.
2. Cheap and shitty.

With hindsight of course, it’s easy to classify them, but just for fun: Catwoman — Crap. Spiderman 2 — Good. Elektra — Crap. Batman Begins — Good. Well, probably.

Constantine however, was a movie that I really wasn’t sure about. The trailer was a mixture of good and evil.[ftn] Some cool effects and set pieces, but some very slow-looking dialogue, and a painful aura of seriousness. Going to see it was a bit of a gamble. And for most people, it hasn’t paid off. Most people in my cinema were laughing at the serious bits, and guffawing at every plot development. A lot of the reviews I’ve seen online are quite damning. And fans of the comic book Hellblazer on which the film is based don’t seem particularly thrilled.

And yet — I kind of liked it. I mean, if you want to scorn this film, I’m sure you could. And yet for some reason, I was drawn in. I’ll try to explain why for the rest of the review.

Perhaps it’s the setting. Constantine has a fabulous, catholic-esque[ftn] universe to explore. John Constantine is a cynical shell of a man, wandering around a world he’d never have believed in if he hadn’t seen it. The film establishes some solid rules for all the angels and demons wandering about, and sticks to them. Constantine is given a bunch of anti-demon gadgets by his Q-equivalent, and they all get used.[ftn]

But then, you might find Christian mythology very hard to take seriously, and find shotguns with crucifixes lame and not cool. It’s possible that Keanu’s po-faced explanations of all the stuff going on might irritate rather than enthrall. It depends how believable you find Keanu.

There’s a lot of other interesting characters, too; a fat, alcoholic priest, a nervous, bookish fellow who lives behind a bowling alley and just manages to avoid being a cliché, the kind of androgynous angel Gabriel, and the lovely Rachel Weisz. Miss Weisz does a pretty decent turn as a tormented cop having her eyes opened to a bizarre new universe — reminding me a lot of Elizabeth Rohm in the first season of Angel. She’s perhaps just a shade too sensible at times; I find just a touch of “this is all a bit silly, isn’t it” works rather well in this sort of movie.

Of course, you might think the acting’s all really lame. I’m just not sure.

John Constantine himself, however, is my favourite thing about the film. I’m sick of heroes that are completely incompetent until just near the end of the final act. I’m sick of heroes who claim to have only the most pure and noble of intentions, yet get all the ancilliary benefits (girls, souls, whatever) at the end of the film anyhow. I’m sick of heroes who don’t really have much of a plan, charge in, and win because of pure luck rather than improvisational skill. John comes across as a clever guy, who knows which battles he can win, and which he can’t. He’ll break the rules if he has to, but at the same time, he’ll use them to his advantage. And he doesn’t warn bad guys before he attacks them. He’s pretty sensible.[ftn]

Keanu plays Constantine with his usual understatement, but like Hugh Grant, he’s an actor who knows his strengths and limitations and steps so deftly within them that he actually ends up performing quite impressively. He can walk sombrely in a trenchcoat pretty well, and take the piss out of it when necessary, too.[ftn] I’m aware that there’s people out there who hate Keanu. You folk won’t like this movie, I’m pretty sure. You can take your place with all the Hellblazer fans who can’t accept a brown-haired American playing a blond Brit.

I really enjoyed this film. There’s adventure, there’s jokes, there’s a lot of subversion of expectation, there’s an awesome bit with a shotgun, and the finale is clever, amusing, and dramatic. You’ll only hate it if you’re the sort of person who gets too self-conscious watching things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.[ftn]

Footnotes

1. Like everything man touches.
2. Never will I stop making up dumb words.
3. Yes, even the car with the rocket launchers. Oh, alright, there isn’t one.
4. Actually, he kind of reminds me of Angel. The vampire, that is, not a catholic angel. Sorry for confusing the issue.
5. I particularly liked the chewing gum.
6. Or Doctor Who. 17 days…

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This entry was posted by the illustrious Tom Charman on Tuesday, March 8th, 2005. It concerns such pressing issues as . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.