I recently had the misfortune of reviewing the new Charman house. No, not misfortune. What’s the word? Pleasure.

It was pure enjoyment from the moment I stggered out of bed with a hangover until I fell asleep drunk again that night. The spacious rooms are combined with a concise backyard complete with a neighbourhood loon.

The guest accomodations are extensive, with backyard access, bunkbed, desk, closet and drawers. There was one small issue about the bed and the low roof. Some perverse person had placed the bed so that if one sat up in bed, one would bang their bed on the low overhead beams. This causes trouble if one sits up in the brief moments between waking and the brain turning on. I am a great believer in the use of pain as a memory enhancer and this soon ceased to be a problem.

The aforementioned low roof restricts juggling to five balls or less and the electric oven is luke warm at best. The only other concern is that there is no quick getaway from the house for those on the run. These are easily compensated for by the delicious water and the proximity to Southland. The trees in the backyard, apparently fragile, withstood much damage during filming.

Entertainment was provided by a loopy neighbour called Steve. His anctics were easily observable from the safety of the observation deck in the luxurious front room or from a reinforced shark cage on the front lawn.

I give this house 4 thumbs up.

It seems inevitable that every record Godspeed You Black Emperor!, or Godspeed You! Black Emperor as they are now known, release will immediately elevate itself to a classic in my mind. They are not the world’s most diverse band, exploring much the same sounds and ideas on each of their releases so far. However they do this so near perfectly that it feels that they could keep doing it for all eternity without the music ever becoming tired. The subject of their music is often grim and they manage to recreate the sound of the Apocalypse countless times on each record. On this record, they do away with the field recordings which have been a large part of previous releases, leaving no oral clues as to the message of the pieces and increasing the intensity of the songs. Instead the liner notes give us a more concrete explanation of the pieces message, telling us ’09-15-00′ is ‘ariel sharon surrounded by 1,000 israeli soldiers marching on al-haram ash-sharif& provoking another intifada’ and provide us with the diagram below showing the links between the major record companies and the arms industry. However despite the band’s ability to so eloquently distill into music the fucked up nature of the world today, they never appear to lose hope. It is this which makes their music so magical. In the words of the band:

&hope still, a little resistance always maybe stubborntiny lights vs. clustering darkness foreverok?

The album consists of three pieces across five tracks and 75 minutes. Without field recordings there are no interruptions within the music and in this sense this album is closer to a long classical piece than their previous work. The first two tracks make up ‘9-15-00’ . Like many of gy!be’s pieces it starts quietly with the same three bars repeated again and again and slowly evolving as more of the instruments come in and the sound grows. After a lull, we have another quiet start, slow build before the music again dies away. With each repetition of this cycle, the tension grows. The process is repeated twice more however on these occasions instead of dying away the sound just keeps growing, on the first occasion plateauing and on the second exploding into one of the climaxes which are so characteristic of gy!be’s music. This is the end of the first track. The second track is the calm after the storm. Consisting of sparse plucked guitar and strings, it again consists of a simple phrase repeated with subtle variations but now the tension has been replaced with tranquility. If ‘9-15-00’ is the sound of Ariel Sharon provoking another intifada then this second track perhaps symbolises some much hoped for future peace (whether that peace is the result of the two sides having completely destroyed each other is less clear).

‘Rockets fall on Rocket Falls’ begins in a similar vein, with slow building guitar and strings. As the drums come in it rises further, fades then rises again into a massive sea of sound before dying away. The sound begins to build again with lone drum beats soon joined by solemn clarinets and trumpet. Over the next five minutes instruments are slowly added to the mix and you can tell it is only a matter of time until it all explodes. As the squalls of guitar build eventually it does, but sounding far more optimistic and less apocolyptic than expected. This is followed by a short outro played by a single violin over waves of noise still resonating in the background, eventually fading away to nothing.

‘Motherfucker=Redeemer’ is the final piece on the album and again consists of two tracks. It is also the album’s epic streaching over 30 minutes. Starting out even quieter than normal with a bell like sound it slowly builds picking up a faster, almost danceable beat. Guitars, strings and drums are added as the sound builds, dies down and starts again. This time there is no reprieve and there is cathartic release of noise. The beat slows and the piece moves into a quiet section. Eventually there is just a single guitar left playing over the echoes of the previous chaos. Again it’s clear the calm won’t last and it is only a matter of time before (yes, you guessed it) it begins to build again but on this occasion soon dies away with strings soon added over the now quiet guitar. After a couple of minutes, the strings stop and we are again left with a solitary guitar. After the relative restraint of the first half of this piece it is no surprise that the second track is more explosive. Beginning as various screeches and wails, the drums come in and the sound starts to grow. As the guitars and strings are added, there is soon a wall of sound. Eventually this dies away and we are left with quiet notes being played over static. The piece tries to build again but fails and only static, faint feedback and strings are left before they are suddenly sucked into a black hole and all that is left is silence.

Yanqui U.X.O. is, in my opinion, not gy!be’s best album. In fact, of their four releases it is probably the one I like least. This remark must be taken in context however. Einstein’s theory of Special Relativity wasn’t his greatest work, but it is still pretty fucking awesome. Reading my rather mediocre description of the tracks above, there doesn’t seem to be a lot to gy!be’s music — quiet start with simple short phrase repeated, increase volume adding more and more instruments until everything explodes, repeat as necessary ending with a quiet coda representing the calm after that storm. And in essence, there is nothing more to almost all their pieces than this. Yet somehow they manage to convey such anger, destruction, desolation, abondonment and yet still a little hope that their music, to my ears at least, is unlike anything else I have ever heard. When George W. finally succeeds in starting a nuclear war and dooms us all to destruction, and they have nuked the rest of the planet and still have tens of thousands of bombs left so it is only a matter of time before it is Melbourne’s turn, this is the band I will be listening to. And I am sure even then they will make me feel just a glimmer of hope that somehow, somewhere things will turn out better.

Loyalty

Tom: An unsettling episode that contains some amusement, but in general seems to be setting things up for the next episode… What will Wesley do? Alexis Denisof is given some more things to work with and once more rises to the challenge. The Gunn and Fred plotline… some bits were fine, but you’d think Gunn would have more sense than to take the girl he loves into a nest of vampires. Especially after what Wes said to him the other day. But then he seems to have taken Wes’ talk a bit oddly.

Of course this episode was also home to one of the greatest moments in Angel ever — the talking hamburger! The blending of the mundane and the fantastic is perhaps one of my favourite things about this show.

Mattt: When the bad guy starts wearing cardigans he stops being threatning. He stops looking like a Vamp hunter and starts looking like a pedophile. shudder.

All the heroes are safe save little Connor.

Sleep Tight

“You work for a man who you think is noble and good, I respect that. Trouble is, he’s not.”
“You work with a vampire!”
“Who in fact is noble and good. Quirky, but there it is.”

Tom: Wow. Angel is developing quite a run suddenly. Admittedly Gunn and Fred are still vaguely irritating, but they’re not in this one as much so it doesn’t matter. I loved Wes trying to sing the baby to sleep — and was shocked by what ensued. They’d better watch that they don’t use the ‘host-hears-man-with-poor-intentions-singing’ thing too much, but for me it’s still working. The look on Wesley’s face! Wes is, to be sure, going through a dark place. That said I’ve really enjoyed his dealings with Holtz in this episode and the last — he’s really stood up to him. It’d be worth having another look at the Buffy episode ‘Bad Girls’ to understand the full extent of his development!

I was pleased that the crew at Angel Investigations finally managed to work out something odd was going on. However I think the general denseness of everyone worked well. Gunn and Fred were too wrapped up in themselves, and thought that Wes was still jealous; the Host is probably sulking because he hasn’t had much to do in recent episodes; and Angel has been too worried about his own ‘Connor-food’ issues to really take an interest in what Wes is up to. What I think is interesting is how none of this would have gotten so bad if Cordelia had been here to spot things like Wes’ depression and Angel acting oddly.

311 | Birthday

“So, let me get this straight: Angel gets the visions of people who are gonna die, and he tells you and you go out and slay and… this is how you make your living? This has got to be the suckiest job in the world.”

Andy: Everyone wants their own spinoff. I’m hanging out for “Connor: The early years.” Anyway it was a very interesting episode this week.

It was good to take the focus off Angel and Cordy is one of the more engaging characters. A couple of bad points though: the ‘on previous episodes’ bit gives clue to what will happen this week and gets annoying every week; Channel 7 put the voice over that is normally during the credits on over Cordy’s last speech with her guide (this is probably not Joss Whedon’s fault.); one fake dramatic bit is funny (Cordy’s speech) two in two minutes is lame (Wesley running in looking worried). Aside from these we see that Cordy is very much part of the group and has some new powers. I presume that vampire hunter from last week is biding his time until the end of the season.

Mattt: I liked the bit between Cordelia and Fred at the start. Skip kind of alternates between being funny and being irritating. I think Cordy is lucky she got to float instead of scales, and the alternate reality was nice and depressing.

Tom: I always enjoy ‘what if’ episodes, and this one was no exception. Cordy got a bit of a raw deal in her last one (being sucked dry by Xander and Willow in Buffy‘s ‘The Wish’), so it’s only fair that this time she gets to be famous and cool. Obviously the Powers that Be aren’t so good at rewriting history, ‘cos they missed that bit on the wall. Lucky. Skip was pretty cool, and I loved his explaining the Mall with reference to The Matrix. Other good things about this episode include: the flashbacks, the kiss, alt-Wes and Cordy talking about their kiss, and generally the (believable) revelation of how bad things would be for everyone if Cordelia hadn’t met up with Angel in “City of…”.

And the Half-Time Score…

Andy: Angel, unlike Buffy has been great from the get go. The episodes have consistently been stronger and more interesting with some great character insights. The larger range of characters in Angel than Buffy means more character interactions. The show does have a tendency to focus solely on Angel but that is understandable. I like the people on Angel more too. Angel feels like it has plenty of possible plots for the rest of the season.

Tom: There’s been a very high standard of television on Angel so far this year. Starting with a series of character based episodes and then showing a string of more arc-based stories where Angel gained a son, things have always seemed well-balanced. All the characters have recieved at least one episode focussing on their characters, and I hope this evenness lasts through the rest of the season. A bit more Wesley would be nice though… The introduction of Fred has worked well — once again the team on Angel show their deftness at creating new characters with both her and Daniel Holtz.

There have been a few problems though. Gavin Parke has proven himself to be a rather pathetic excuse for a character, as has Linwood — leaving Lilah the superior player on the dark side. If you’d suggested this to me last year I would have laughed. Lilah isn’t bad, but she lacks the, er, balls of Lindsey and Holland. Still, she’s gotten a bit to play with this year. I just hope she gets to win something soon, and prove her abilities. The death of Darla was a shock, although on retrospect it should not have been. It seems in all seasons of Angel, if you get to the ninth episode and your name has five letters and begins with ‘D’, you should run and hide.

312 | Provider

Andy: He he. How many people have died because of a wrong phone number? I hope Angel is feeling guilty. I’m impressed with their paper quality. The ink doesn’t run and the paper doesn’t tear. Angel is rather gullible. If he wasn’t so greedy he might have spotted the warning signs. He did try to save face at the end though. He’s become mentally unstable since gaining a son.
Better watch out.

Tom: Ah, the moment we’ve all been waiting for — the first truly crap episode of Angel season three. Finally we have some decent stuff to bag the crap through — the lame plot, the greedy Angel who just doesn’t fit with the character we’ve seen before, the pathetic computer graphics on the demons’ iBook… I can’t be bothered mentioning all the pathetic aspects of this episode, so I’ll briefly mention the good bits — Angel and Cordy on the bed at the end, and Gunn and Wes getting all tense over Fred. And before I go, another word on the ‘Previously, on’ bits. Why go to the trouble of putting clips from “Birthday” at the start if you’ve got Cordelia basically explaining what happened inside the story anyway? Let’s please give the audience the benefit of the doubt, and only provide these recaps when they’re really needed.

313 | Waiting in the Wings

“I saw their production of Giselle in 1890 — cried like a baby. And I was evil!”

Tom: Not the kind of ‘event’ or gimmicky episode one might expect from Joss Whedon these days — just a solid one-off story. However, one of the things I like about Angel is that their one-off episodes tend to be very good, and this is no exception. Well realised tragedy/comedy monsters, a tragic plot, interesting fantasy ideas, ghosts, unrequited love… and getting to see everyone dress up for the ballet. Of course, neither of the couples that got together were the ones I wanted to in the end, but I suspect the jealousy will make for interesting watching in the weeks to come.

314 | Couplet

“Nobody in this office is ever going to get any.”

Andy: It was a good episode of Angel last night.

Angel is so much more interesting than Buffy. Angel has a very expressive face and he’s funny to watch to him being jealous. Gunn and Fred were a bit sappy but it was made up for by the conversation at the end with Wes. I loved Angel and Wes’ talk about Connor at the start. Cordy really doesn’t seem interested in Angel, especially with lines like “what woman could tempt you Angel” so he should give up hope. If Angel can keep this up it’s going to be a great season.

Tom: On paper, this weeks episode might look pretty average: a tree monster who meets food on the internet, the Angel/Groosallug rivalry, the paranormal prophylactic subplot… And yet it has some really good bits that raise it above mediocrity. Focussing on Angel’s jealousy both beneath and above the surface was a good idea — I was half expecting forty minutes of David Boreanaz being snitchy to the Groo, but they made his issues with him a little deeper, especially in the scene where Angel is forced to stand by helpless as the Groosallug fights off the demon that he couldn’t follow. Good on Wesley for noticing Angel’s pain, and telling him what he needed to hear. I would say that lines such as “what woman could tempt you Angel” seem to indicate that Cordy simply feels out of her depth romantically with him — especially considering the revelation that Angel and Darla had slept together, which we all remember affected her surprisingly strongly… Er, so there, Mr Andy.

611 | Gone

Andy: Willow looks to be on the mend but Buffy’s done for. Dawn’s acting a little bit bitchy but at least she’s normal. Buffy went a bit wacky while invisible. It affected her more than I would have expected. I was hoping she’d become pudding. Xander is particularly thick this episode. On two occasions he walked in on the Buffster and Spike but he didn’t suspect anything.

Exactly why did the nerds need Willow as a hostage? Couldn’t they have just told Buffy that she was going to turn into pudding unless she let them zap her back into visibleness? Couldn’t they assume that she would have wanted to be visible, not to mention not pudding, and therefore they would not have needed to kidnap Willow? I guess the kidnapping was an opportunistic idea after Willow stumbled into their den. Now that Willow knows where they live, aren’t they a little afraid? This whole thing is making less sense the more I think about it. Almost a good episode but lacking things.

Why do they call a witches hat a pylon?

Tom: …Probably because given the circumstances, “witch’s hat” would be rather inappropriate.

An alright episode. The nemesis/nemeses joke has been done before though, and better. And when your humour was done better in ‘Mystery Men’, you’ve got to start worrying. The invisibility was fun. Amy is being played as extremely irritating — earning her the moniker ‘Ratgirl’ in the local TV Guide. I still feel sorry for her after spending over two years as a mouse though. At least Buffy spent her small intervening time in heaven. She should be grateful.

And the Half-Time Score…

Andy: Buffy started out slowly with some ordinary episodes. Once Buffy became adjusted to living again and Willow’s magic dependancy became apparent we’ve had some exciting episodes. It was about the episode before the musical that things began to pick up. I can’t really relate to being dead or engaged so I found those first episodes boring. After that we had all the characters emotionally involved for some good episodes. Unfortunately we now have lost a couple of characters and are only following Buffy and Willow. I would like to see a greater range of characters involved before much longer. Also with the show in it’s sixth season, the writers need to take extra care to avoid stereotypical behaviour from the characters.

Tom: Half way already? I’m surprised, because unlike Angel, almost nothing seems to have been happening on Buffy. The universe once again seems to be revolving almost continuously around Buffy herself — with the exception of the Willow plotline. While I applaud any attempt to actually examine the (very talented) supporting cast, I do wish some aspects could have been handed in a more careful and less heavy-handed manner. Willow’s magic-dependence was being built up quite nicely — and then suddenly one episode she becomes a junkie. I’m almost certain that the show wasn’t always this unsubtle. The nerds have been interesting, with Warren perhaps showing the most promise as a character… but ultimately they like everything else in the show contribute to a sense of constructedness that isn’t exactly awful, but is annoying. I find it hard to imagine the Jonathan of ‘Earshot’ and ‘Superstar’ suddenly being interested in evil-doing. I find it hard to believe that Willow and Tara would have just continued to live in Buffy’s house without considering paying for rent. Basically I find it hard to believe that any of these people have a life except when I tune in on Monday nights.

Dancing demons, however, I have no problem with. So something’s wrong here! In some ways, most of these are minor quibbles — but they’ve been there for the last two and a half years … what Buffy needs is a bit of momentum. And some focus on its supporting characters — when was the last time Xander or Anya got their own plotline, let alone episode? Perhaps some building up of semi-regular characters would be worthwhile too. Still, in some ways this season looks more promising than the last two — things hopefully will get interesting.

612 | Doublemeat Palace

Andy: Fancy that. The creepy fast food company turned out to be vegetarian. Who would have guessed that it was really the little old lady? I thought it might be the butler. I would like to see more story lines/arcs going on. I think they got the idea from the 1973 flick “Soylent Green”. Not a particularly imaginative episode but nothing really wrong with it. I hope Willow doesn’t permantly give up magic. It’s not all bad.

Tom: I’m not sure I should even give this episode the credit of a review. Tell you what, I’ll give it fifteen words:

Slow, obvious, poorly written filler. Willow — job? Xander funny but useless again. Oh, another bonk.

613 | Dead Things

Tom: Kind of disturbing this week. The nerds will never be quite as funny again. Despite the unsettling nature of the show for them, it did demonstrate Warren’s darker side very nicely. Not that we didn’t know that he was the bastard of the group — but I feel he now has more gravitas as a villain than Glory did! In any case, the episode was a pick up from the last month or so of highly average Buffy. Our second favourite slayer has a nerve talking about the stuff she lets Spike do to her though. Just look at what she does to him! I think I’d rather have her side of the deal than Spike’s. Ah, in the general case where we’re not being gender specific that is.

I was going to write “favourite slayer” up there to avoid saying ‘Buffy’ twice in a row, but then I realised Faith is probably my favourite. Buffy was better than Kendra though. And the two that Spike killed.

614 | Older and Far Away

Tom: Another fairly good episode of Buffy — I’m feeling spoiled! Amber Benson gets to demonstrate how much fun we could have been having with Tara all this time if they’d actually given her something to do. Introducing her rather sly sense of humour, while overdue, is much appreciated now at least. We also see some interesting sides to Anya — her hysterical reaction to being trapped in the house and insistence that Willow should do something are both fascinating to watch. And finally the ‘Dawn-stealing-stuff’ plotline moves on. With all these developments it’s hard to dislike the episode. Hopefully we can keep this momentum going and do something with Xander and Willow soon?

Mattt: Yawn. But an award goes to Tara for being in the show for two years before having her first decent line. That has to be a TV record, to go for so long with only lame lines and wimpy looks.

But Buffy‘s over as a show. there’s nothng left, all the characters are dull or unbelivable. Even Willow is a nobody now, what a crap “going evil”.
so many characters with nothing to do. I say finish the show before it becomes a joke.

606 | All the Way

Andy: Buffy finally feels like it is moving along this season towards some better themes. I like the focus on Willow and her attitude about the use of magic. Could make for some interesting episode later on, especially if more characters were involved. What Willow needs is for the TAC to some in with some videos about the dangers of magic and what happens when it goes wrong. Giles seems to be concerned about something else though. I hope it’s not too bad. Buffy is very reassured by his presence and is not willing to take on any responsiblility yet (which is understandable) but Dawn is looking to her for parental approval and rebellion. The fight scene which ended with the vampire dying from the car door was terrible. It looked so staged to use the car door as the finishing move. I thought Buffy would run to protect her sister (who can take care of herself) rather than fight some anonymous bad guy. A better episode than previous one’s and it is hopefully building towards something.

Mattt: Not a bad episode. A bit too much Tara, but then she did fall for the Jedi mind trick so HAHAHA. I did feel sorry for Dawn though. It’s her own fault really. If she had a little cross necklace like Buffy she’d have known sooo much sooner. And I’m dissapointed about the old guy. I want to know what evil stuff he was going to get up to.

Tom: Buffy‘s been going on for five and a bit years now, so it’s only natural that they’ve amassed a few stereotypes. It smacks of carelessness, however, to have almost all of them in one episode.

• Buffy’s friends have all paired up and she feels left out.
• Someone has to stake a vampire which they have feelings for.
• The aforementioned staking is a surprise to the vampire, as the person had the stake stuck between their bodies.
• There is a very threatening, obvious evil-doer set up at the start of the episode, which astounds us all when it turns out to be in fact innocent, and the victim of the REAL villain of the piece.
• One of the characters does something a bit naughty, and gets punished by a supernatural element of Sunnydale.

Let’s also not forget how crap the fight scene was, with no one running to help the person they came to save, and Buffy and Spike having difficulty dispatching some fairly run of the mill vamps, even when Dawn’s life depends on it. Add some fairly awful acting from the guest stars and you have one of the crappiest episodes for a while. Its single redeeming feature was the Willow subplot. Good on Tara for having a go at yelling at her, even if she won’t remember…

607 | Once More, With Feeling

Andy: I loved it. It was very funny and emotional. The singing allowed greater expression of feelings than in a normal episode so it kept the overall plot moving well despite a rather simple plot for this episode. A sad ending though. Willow had better watch herself, Tara’s onto her. I liked the duets. They showed an interesting resonance between Giles and Tara. Should be good to watch in future episodes. I don’t like this Buffy/Spike business.

Tom: Now this is more like it. Imaginative, funny, moving stuff. All the developments we see in this episode flow beautifully from past episodes. Great singing from Tara and Giles, fairly good singing from Spike, Anya and Buffy. Xander obviously not so good, but I feel that’s in character anyway! I’ve had the first song in my head all week — some very clever lyrics there. Joss Whedon may well be a genius. Watch out in the showdown with that demon guy for Tara running into a pole by accident and hiding behind it! Also listen to the parking ticket song as long as possible after the others walk away…

608 | Tabula Rosa

Andy: I don’t think Joan is going to find inner peace anytime soon especially since Giles left. Same goes for Willow, who I think is a bit drippy. A nice dig at Angel by Spike and Joan who have no trouble dispatching a group of vampires, unlike a couple of weeks ago. I still don’t like this Joan Spike business.

Jackson: Arguably one of the best episodes ever. Very well done, very funny, very sad, and the most refreshing episode we’ve had in a long time (from a character and plot standpoint). I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun watching them all. Priceless moments between the new “family” — Giles telling his “son” Spike good luck was just beautiful, and the farewell scenes were brilliantly handled. Poignant but not sentimental — heart-wrenching but not mushy (probably because Giles and Tara didn’t actually get to say goodbye at all). I loved it. The musical was a bit of fun, but this episode has restored my faith in the show.

Tom: Nice to see a musical montage again on Buffy — it made for a good, restrained ending. Willow’s descent into magic addiction is well handled, but depressing to watch. I loved the acting between her and Tara when the memories came back. Both did a fine job. Sadly, Amber Benson has done some of her best work in the last two episodes, and now leaves. Couldn’t they have given her this kind of material, oh, say, two years ago? I loved the dig at Angel! Randy Giles was also impressive in this episode, though I would have expected him to kill that shark guy at the end, not be nice to him. I think he’s gone soft-er. Two good episodes in a row — I’ve almost forgotten how bad All the Way was.

609 | Smashed

Andy: I don’t really like Spike. He does have some funny lines but he’s become a bit pathetic. I’m no longer going to comment on Joan/Spike. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Willow is in self-denial (it’s always the responsible types you have to look out for) I don’t imagine she’ll recover anytime soon especially with ratgirl hanging around. This season looks like it is going to be focusing on depressing themes so I’m going to only pay attention to the nice characters Xander, Anya, Dawn and Tara. I’m not too keen on a season of sad episodes. It’s a shame that Giles left. I liked the Xander + D&D book bit.

Tom: I never thought I’d watch an episode where some of my favourite bits involved Tara! It’s become apparent over the last few weeks that when they actually give her stuff to do she’s quite good. And she’s being a far better role model to Dawn than either Buffy or Willow! All teenagers should know not to turn evil and not to bonk evil. But more on that later. Xander and Anya are a bit more useful as the characters who know everyone’s going dumb. Willow may be treading in dangerous territory, but I still want to operate my Mac like she can. Can she set what colour the glowing stuff is? Is she running OS 9 or X up there? But enough procrastinating, let’s get to the big controversial aspect of the episode.

Simply put, there is NO WAY Andrew could have seen every episode of Doctor Who. Most of the sixties episodes were junked before he was born. And the argument about DVD makes no sense — only 3 stories of Who are available in America on DVD. Lazy writing. I’m shocked.

While I’m here, let’s talk about Buffy and Spike. I was surprised when A Beautiful Mind revealed you can simply ask beautiful women to have sex with you and they will. Now I find that verbally and physically abusing them works too. I’ve been barking up the wrong tree it seems. It was a bit galling to watch, and shocking, but I believe that was the idea. Spike was very lucky in a rundown building not to get staked, considering the high mortality rate of most vampires in such situations.

610 | Wrecked

“Last night… was the most perverse… degrading experience of my life.”
“Yeah. Me too.”

Andy: Poor Dawny. I hope she now knows better than to hang out with druggies like Strawberry and Rack. I hadn’t realised that Strawberry was a telepath working for the Shadows. I must have missed an episode. I’m not sure if Buffy is able to beat up the Shadows by herself. Buffy’s fighting style looks like it is getting worse this season. She appears to stop paying attention halfway through. I’d have thought that after so many years as a slayer she’d be able to quickly dispatch most monsters. Perhaps they should get in contact with someone from Jet Li’s The One (about fight choreographing not plot devices). Xander and what’s-her-face are slowly being edged out. Unless something bad happens to them I doubt they’ll get much screen time.

Tom: Buffy is definitely improving. A good episode, with a great performance by Alyson Hannigan, but things seemed a bit rushed. Amy seems to have made the transition from rat to junkie in two days, which is a surprise. Perhaps she saw Traffic too. Willow too seems to have advanced rather quickly — she’s become Rack’s favourite so soon? It just feels like the Willow/Amy plot should have been threaded across two episodes instead of being boxed into this one. That aside however, it’s handled fairly well, and Dawn’s reaction to Willow’s extreme crapness was damn cool. I’m enjoying how crummy everyone’s life is, but Xander and Anya do seem a bit left out. One side issue: the “Previously, on Buffy”s are getting stupid. Or rather, they seem to think we are. What was the point of showing us the nerd trio just to explain one line about freezing and diamonds to us? Soon they’ll take up most of the episode.

306 | Billy

Andy: Crumbs! An action packed episode. It’s nice to see Billy dead and a bit of a schism in Wolfram and Hart. Fred has trouble with possessed men — she should learn to whoop some ass. I feel sorry for Wesley. He’s always such a nice guy and to have attacked Fred like that, the poor guy. He’s going to be distraught for weeks. He’s lost all confidence in himself. Gunn managed to get himself knocked out at least. Far more sensible than Wesley. Angel was immune to the bad guy’s powers this week. How did Angel manage to sneak up on Cordelia and Billy at the airport? It’s not like there were any walls to hide behind. What was that earthquake/slamming the ground thing that Billy did at the end while he was fighting Angel?

Tom: Awesome. Great development for or the characters. It’s about time Cordy learned to fight, and I loved seeing her take an active role in the plot and her keen sense of responsibility. But the big prize for the episode goes to Alexis Denisof (Wesley). From psychotic to devastated, and carried them both off well. I don’t know how Wes or Fred will deal with this, though Fred seems fairly unconcerned. Wesley should probably have brain damage from that fire extinguisher though. Not such a big role for Gunn, his small bit was excellent too.

307 | Offspring

Andy: A bit of an aimless episode this one. The writers obviously don’t want to give anything away yet so the episode is stretched a bit to fill in time. I like the Angel-Cordelia relationship but it does seem to be taking away focus from the other characters. None of the other characters really cared whom Angel had been sleeping with and Wesley has forgotten about last week’s problem. Angel has far too much of a soft spot for Darla. He should just stake her again and be done with it. I think Darla should be come part of the gang. She fits in so harmoniously.

Tom: A bit of arc-advancement as Darla returns with her lump and Holtz rises again results in a fairly standard, going-through-the-motions episode. Most of the bright spots come near the start, with Angel’s shock (then interest) at the thought of him and Cordelia together, Wesley and Gunn’s occasionally bumbling break in, and the Host demonstrating once again that no one can pun better than he. I was glad Cordy said she was stupid for getting so close to Darla, because we were all thinking it. Wesley obviously hasn’t forgotten about his problem with Fred, but as he is only with her in one scene there is little scope for advancement–perhaps next episode. Not a great episode this one, but plenty of bright sparks within it. It just goes to show how effortlessly they can make the characters on this show entertaining. Perhaps they could nip over to the Buffy set and teach them a thing or two.

308 | Quickening

Andy: This end-of-the-world has a slow build-up. The characters don’t know if the child will be evil so they unable to do anything. Too bad about the Jedi. He probably spent years training to get those powers. I liked the evil doctor. I was hoping he’d get his chance to dissect Darla.

Tom: A kind of average, plot advancing episode. Not quite as funny as your average Angel–the Ninja guy getting killed was below lame, and only Darla’s peculiar relationship to the group raised any smiles with me. Perhaps though we’ve been spoiled with the initial run of character-based episodes. This new boss guy at Wolfram & Hart is crap as. How I long for the days when that law firm had menace–the days of Holland Manners and Lindsey McDonald. Gavin is beginning to grate also. Fred was given some pretty lame dialogue this week too. Hmmm. This really wasn’t much chop, was it?

309 | Lullaby

Andy: Very dramatic episode with prophecies all coming true and what-have-you. It is a big build up. I hope it it worth it. End-of-the-world events are fairly common so it can be a bit hard to get excited about them. A good thing about Darla. I never liked her and it was an easy and quick way to give birth. How did Wesley & co. manage to beat the demons who had taken out Wolram & Hart’s special forces?

Mattt: This was a good one. I didn’t see Darla’s death coming — she’s one of the best characters in the show, and I’m pretty disappointed that she’s dead. I liked the rooftop scene with Darla.

Tom: Wowsers. I doubt anyone was expecting Darla to go like that. Far better than last week’s episode, with meatier stuff given to everyone: Angel, Holtz, Darla… Oh, but not the regulars, unless you count everyone hitting Gunn in Caritas to see if the sanctuary was working. Perhaps they could have been given something to do? Poor old Lorne. I wonder if this bar-destruction thing is going to become a running gag. Very cool way to do it though–I loved the singing and the look on Lorne’s face. And Angel has a baby–will it be a baby all season, or be supernatural and grow up really quick? That’s the trouble with babies who are supposed to save us–there’s a bit of waiting around involved. Nice ending also. I don’t know what Holtz is thinking, and I like that a lot.

310 | Dad

Andy: That’s the exciting part done. Now we have to wait until the kid grows up. Why don’t Wolfram and Hart have special people to stop Angel entering their building? It’s fortunate that all the bad guys have eaten each other.

Mattt: The chase after the baby was kind of lame. Not a bad episode, but not that good. I don’t like those lawyers any more. Holtz just felt sleazy when he was recruiting that girl. It was more like he was propositioning a hooker.

Tom: What a cool family Connor has. If he survives he should be quite happy. Angel’s reaction to the baby was funny and in character, I thought, and Holtz’s recruitment was interesting, even if the graveyard did look kind of familiar… I was impressed with the twist, and it was nice to see the group actually doing something clever rather than rushing in and hitting things. Even though that was cool when Wes had the flamethrower. Can I just reiterate again how crap Wolfram and Hart are these days? No challenge whatsoever. Linwood was a bit better, while Gavin Park reached new depths of crapness. I’m going to go to the senior partners myself and point out just how shit things have become.

601 | Bargaining, Part One

Written by Marti Noxon Directed by David Grossman

Andy: Poor old Buffy. She’ll suffocate trapped in that coffin. Oh well, they’ll just have to try something else. I liked the bit when Tara went grrr argh in the airport with the little finger monster.

Mattt: I didn’t like this episode. Didn’t like Tara, didn’t like Anya, didn’t even like much of Xander, or… anyone. Except Willow — I like where she might be going. She’s the only one who shows signs of growing this season. I liked the fighting the vampires at the start also.

Tom: Bit of a disappointment. Takes so long to get anywhere, and then ends fairly abruptly. I was a little shocked to see Buffy’s emaciated corpse. Ew. I’m embarassed to say that Giles’ farewell made me a little teary. Even though I know he’s coming back later.

602 | Bargaining, Part Two

Andy: Poor old Buffy. She’s a bit confused about what’s going on. No- one’s really explained what’s going on and why she isn’t dead.

Mattt: Lame. I liked the bit where she was trapped in the coffin. The suspense was rather killed by having seen Buffy do all the stuff that the others were working out slowly. I suppose that Buffy being reincarnated was the point, but as we knew it was going to happen all the little revelations throughout the episode were ruined.

Tom: An episode of sitting around talking leads into an episode of constant action. That’s what you get when you split up a double length episode I suppose. For the first time in a while I was really impressed with Sarah Michelle Gellar’s acting. I wish Xander could get vaguely good at fighting. Heck, just vaguely good at SOMETHING. He seems to have even dropped the ball in the going for doughnuts department.

603 | Afterlife

Andy: Xander and co. are boring.

Mattt: A very tense episode. I liked the eyes, and the final revelation. Nice to see Buffy fighting something non-corporeal for a change. Very interesting revelation about Buffy in heaven. Tara still looks dopey. I believe she is ruining this series, and possibly has an IQ of 80.

Tom: At last, a good, run-of-the-mill episode on Buffy. And pretty scary in places. Recently the only good ones have been the ‘event’ ones. Great stuff from SMG and Michelle Trachtenberg this week. And Spike is back in form. Awww. I’m worried that he might be getting just a little too cuddly though. And the final scene — fantastic.

604 | Flooded

Andy: Now that the interesting characters (Giles and Buffy) are back things are looking good. But one of the nerds on Buffy is called Andrew — lowering the average coolness of Andrews anywhere.

Mattt: I loved the nerds. Very funny, but a little too close to the bone at points. So far so good for the season. I am impressed. Nice to see Giles back, and a good scene between Spike and Buffy on the steps.

Tom: Average. The argument between Giles and Willow is the highlight — especially after their sweet farewell only three episodes ago. Buffy has gone from the most boring character to the most interesting. The evil nerds are alright, but I hope they don’t outstay their welcome.

605 | Life Serial

Andy: Are those nerds this season’s villians for Buffy? They can’t be too hard to vanquish. It is about time Jonathon was killed. Too bad that the death star picture on the side of the van was painted over.
It was pretty good although conspicuous. Buffy has ‘on previous episodes’ at the start of each episode almost every week at the moment often showing the same stuff as the previous week’s one.
Are lots of fans only tuning in now and need to be updated?

Tom: Very funny. Loved Buffy’s reaction to the whiskey, the nerds’ Bond conversation/argument, the death star, the kittens. Willow’s tutorial looked like the tutorial from hell. My postmodernism one is a little similar but not nearly as fast. Someone needs to do something about how boring Tara, Xander and Anya are though.

301 | Heartthrob

Andy: Nice one to start the series with one of those cool flashbacks to Angel’s past. Angel seems to be over Buffy.

Tom: A pretty good season opener, James was an OK villain, and are we seeing a deeper bond between Cordy and Angel than before? Glad to see Angel isn’t getting all mopey again, because I’m getting kind of sick of that. Darla has obviously been drinking way more people than is good for her figure.

302 | That Vision Thing

Andy: Things are getting confusing in Angel. They clearly have no idea of good and bad. Angel is going to get everyone killed. When did Darla get up the duff? Good thing Angel killed that hovering brain guy at the end. He looked like he could cause a lot of trouble. The Wolfram and Hart lady is intimidated by Angel. She’ll probably get kicked out soon for lack of nerve. Angel is getting edgier every episode. He’ll snap soon.

Tom: An average but fairly good hour of Angel. A bit of interesting set up for later in the season, and an indication of just how clear Angel’s priorities are now. I look forward to the return appearance of Skip.

303 | That Old Gang of Mine

Andy: On and on goes the struggle in LA. It seems not everyone can cope with such a diverse range of species. Is Angel just trying to protect innocents or does he have a bigger plan in mind?

Tom: One of the best episodes of Angel for some time. Tense, funny, involving, and with one of the most enjoyably irritating characters we’ve seen in a while. Nice moves by Fred. A great pity about Merl though!

304 | Carpe Noctum

Andy: I loved Angel this week. I thought they did a very good body-swapping episode. The old guy should have been more cautious (and less horny)–he kept making mistakes about what was going on. It was pretty obvious that Angel wasn’t himself. Also Angel shouldn’t be so cocky that he impervious to spells. He’ll get into real trouble one day. It’s about time Fred did something with herself. She just loafs about the house all day.

Tom: Angel usually does pretty good comedy episodes, and this was no exception. I was a tad surprised about Lilah’s reaction to Angel! Fred’s still a lot of fun, especially when describing her date to Wesley. Who, by the way, needs a bit more to do.

305 | Fredless

Andy: I was hoping Fred would leave but without her I think they are lacking in minor characters. I hadn’t being paying enough attention to really notice how attached to Angel she is. She’s a bit useless for my liking. Perhaps she’ll imput more into their missions now. They quickly dealt with Buffy; I was speaking to Matt about the different networks and lack therefore of crossovers. I guess there’s been a lot of Buffy + Angel relationship focus before and it wasn’t worth revisiting. I liked the Cordelia + Wesley impersonation.

Tom: Awww, aren’t Fred’s parents lovely. This episode really brought home what a bunch of misfits the Angel cast are. Which is probably why they seem so much more interesting than their Buffy counterparts. What’s up with the Host? Perhaps he’s considering a change in profession. I liked his pimento spiel. A fun episode, though the whole toaster/decapitation device could have been done away with I feel. The Buffy and Angel show put on by Wes and Cordy must now rival Spike’s speech in ‘In the Dark’ as the funniest moment in Angel.