Andy Cocker

I’ve started a new and original fantasy book. It’s about a boy who’s a poor painter and lives with his mother. One day he finds that his dad was actually a king and since the aforementioned dad had just died, he is now heir to the throne. He finds that he has magical abilities but hasn’t found a magic sword yet.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

While busy ‘working’ I came across this article which contains some fairly depressing stats for a mathematics student.

Is Math a Young Man’s Game?

Not only do you have to make your brilliant discoveries before the age of 30 or 40 but it takes much longer to get to state of the art than it used to because of all these people making discoveries. I’d like to be more like Evariste Galois.

Anyway I should get back to work.

I haven’t been sure where to start with this review. I guess I was hoping for something better, despite what I’d seen this season. I can take some consolation in it being an appropriate end to this season. It’s been very Buffy centric and fittingly the character issues at the end are all about Buffy. The whole Buffy/Spike crap was finally wrapped up and Spike got the heroic death that he wanted. I should probably mention more about this since so much time was spent on it but I’m sick of Buffy’s issues by now.

While I’m trying to focus on the good things I’ll mention that the dialog’s better than it has been recently. There’s some nice work with overlapping lines and it was a touching scene with the scooby gang together again before the battle. It’s good that they finally decided to talk about the plan without the potentials for once. It makes things much easier to discuss without the cannon fodder interrupting.

Unfortunately the whole thing is riddled with plot holes. Why is the First’s plan consisting only of this vampire army? How can the potentials and the other non slayer people kill ubervamps? Why did Buffy think they can? Why did anyone think they had a chance against thousands of ubervamps? Why are most of the potentials unarmed? Wasn’t Buffy’s wound mortal? Why didn’t Willow cast the empowerment spell before going in? Why not make more holes in the roof? What was the First doing all this time? Did it not view them as a threat and so ignored them? Is it tyring to take over the world or destroy the slayer line? Doesn’t it count as cheating if the little girl playing baseball has super powers?

If Buffy was so worried about her friends dying, why didn’t she put sacrificial potentials with them? Why does Buffy keep saying hold the line when they’re all scattered? Why didn’t they station someone on the stairs up to the basement to stop the ubervamps escaping? Had everyone else left town? Why did the bus skid to a stop? Can you get insurance cover for apocalypses? Why turn Angel away when he’s a much better fighter than everyone else? Didn’t Buffy think they needed more power earlier on? So Wolfram and Hart saved the world? Are Wolfram and Hart really all that evil? What are Wolfram and Hart up to?

• Buffy’s making long speeches: tick.
• Buffy has trouble fighting: She’s much better at it when she’s mortally wounded or has her axe.
• Someone questions Buffy’s ability to make difficult decisions: They agree with her wacky plan.
• Flashbacks: no.
• Modern Weaponry: no — Only a bus.
• Poke test to check for corporeality: no.
• Anya’s sole line: “We will defend it with his very life.”
• Andrew provides comic relief: DMing pre apocalypse.
• The First does something: No.
• Strange behaviour by the gang: Everyone likes Buffy’s wacky plan.
• Getting it on: Faith offers Wood some.
• Best quote: “Everyone’s got a soul now.” — Angel.
• Biggest gripe: A completely crap plan.

Dear James Cameron,

I know what you’ve been thinking. You’ve seen lots of tv series being made into movies recently and have been wondering if you can milk Dark Angel for more money by producing a movie. However you’re too lazy and are unsure if your investment will pay off.

Well then I have an offer you can’t refuse. I have a fanscript already prepared and I’ll personally make the movie pro bono. You’ll get the chance to advise in the editing of the film. All stunts and special effects will be handled by the team at NTGF, who are extremely professional and work for pizza.

There’ll be little to no risk on your part. If things go wrong you can just claim that I am a crazy fan and that it was all done without your authorisation.

All I need is for you to send Jessica Alba over to my house so we can get busy filming.

Yours sincerely,
Andy.

I’ve had to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. The tv guide had an episode of Stargate on today so naturally it’s a good day no matter how long I’m at uni.

But then I heard on some ads that it was a movie length episode of Stargate so I was ready for the double episode. A double episode of Stargate I hear you say, what could be better than that?

Well get this: They put on a Dark Angel repeat afterwards! It’s just like the good old Thursdays when they had Mutant X on as well. Now that was a ground breaking show.

So it’s been an exciting day all round.

So then, it’s another month already. That doesn’t leave many days left. I think we’ve reached critical mass so it’s about time I started work. Tomorrow, I’ll start tomorrow. Right now I’m going to lie in the sun. The dog makes it look so enjoyable that I’m going to have to join him. So tomorrow, first thing I’ll do some work.

Wait a mo, is that David ‘Angel’ Borresomething in Dido’s new video clip? Huh, it certainly looks like him. If I knew how to spell his name I could find out somewhere on the web. That explains most of the song then.

I was going to enthusiatically endorse the Eye Toy but it has occured to me that it may be part of a plot to get lazy people active. So be warned that it may involve physical exertions and feelings of self-consciousness. So in that case it’s best played by yourself or while drinking.

And finally to all those people who thought I was online tonight, I was late for acrobatics and forgot to log off ICQ, sorry.

Here we have a creature known as the Andrewius Laziarse. See him desperately scrabbling to build his home. He’s been a layabout all summer, not doing a skerrick of work. All of a sudden, Winter comes and the Andrewius has to rush about madly to fix his house in time before the rain and cold winds set in. Take careful note of the indignant expression upon his face. He’s outraged that no-one warned him that Winter was coming.

Ah, look at that. He’s decided that he’s too late to finish his house this year and has decided to live in a hole for the winter. No doubt he’s already dreaming of the great house he’ll make next year. He’s probably thinking he’ll start building as soon as the snow thaws. But we know that first he’ll have a snooze in the sun and then he’ll play with his friends and then he’ll decide to start on midsummer’s day. We all know what will happen. Isn’t it lucky that we’re so much smarter than this little dumb creature?

By which I mean I sat around on my arse for most of it.

Tuesday night did involve some activity though. There was a science fair for school students to raise the general interest in science. There were stalls run by the universities promoting their various disciplines through standard science presentation style. I believe the physics people even had liquid nitrogen. I was on the maths stall, which isn’t very exciting at the best of times. The majority of things about maths that I find exciting take 10 minutes to explain to people. So instead there’s some lame crap about Fibonacci and the four colour problem. The stall’s been the same for years apparently.

The last time we spent all our time trying to interest people in these things but to little avail. This time I brought puzzles and blocks and things. Logic and problem solving. Give the audience a simple puzzle to solve and they feel clever because they beat those mathematicians. It kept the passersby interested enough and we copped no abuse so things went fairly well. I don’t know if we spread any knowledge about mathematics but that’s something to aim for next time.

More excitingly we won the door prize of a jar of chocolates which I shared out amongst the other stall holders and made me feel most popular. This lead to a meeting with a guy with bubbles, some mutual aquaintances and the knowledge of ZOMES

I was paid $70 to attend so it was a good evening’s work all round.

I’ve decided to outsource my assignments. Great pay, easy hours, email me.

Meanwhile, I think I’m out of the loop, because there’s a new Inspector Gadget series I’ve been missing out on. Which is fortunate because it’s crap. They’ve completely ruined the whole thing.

Back to work now. Only 5 hours before my meeting.

I’m really just hanging out for the end of season at this stage, so excuse the brevity. I’ve got very low expectations for the last episode so hopefully I can’t be disappointed. Despite an ordinary season, there’s quite a few plots that should be wrapped up but I’m not very optimistic. At least some of the potentials will die. The only plotline that seems certain to be properly finished is the one about Buffy and Spike. Please, please please die Spike. That last shot with the First looks promising. There’s been far too much Buffy focus in this season at the expense of the other characters and the plot.

It seems that Faith is just as bad a leader as Buffy. Buffy works better by herself. I’ll accept that Buffy could defeat four ubervamps with that axe, but I’d like to know where they came from. Did the First manage to release them? If so, what stopped the First from releasing the whole army? To balance this new plot hole, another one was filled in. The food that the potentials have been guzzling down has been looted from empty stores, thus at least partly explaining how they can afford to house so many people. Anya and Andrew share a couple of good scenes, although I’d have thought the Summers household would be well stocked with medical equipment. Most (all?) of the residents of Sunnydale have left for a couple of weeks. Probably a good idea.

Buffy’s orders to Xander display troubled mind. She’s having a hard time coming to terms with the likelyhood of serious casualties amongst the good guys. She’s looks like she’s accepted that the potentials will die; having distanced herself from them, they’re practically strangers. It’s different for Xander and Dawn, the two most useless in the group. The scene makes sense, but it feels like a waste of screen time.

I like the difference in prescence between Angel and Buffy. You can see the weight of the world on Buffy’s shoulders but Angel strolls about the place as if he owns it. Buffy genuinely fears for the lives of her friends but Angel looks confident in the knowledge that he can defeat whatever he comes across. He knocked Caleb out and generally seems more capable in a fight. Buffy’s super strength and fighting skills have been waning over the last year.

Giles’ faith in books is justified this episode. The extra secret cult, makers of the magic axe, are unlikely to have a website. It seems possible that such cults are more likely to feature in an old book. This whole ending is screaming ‘Cop Out’.

• Buffy’s making long speeches: tick.
• Buffy has trouble fighting: tick — she keeps dropping her magical axe.
• Someone questions Buffy’s ability to make difficult decisions: tick — Xander’s not too keen on his mission.
• Flashbacks: no but exposition about the origin of the axe.
• Modern Weaponry: tick — Dawn has a Taser.
• Poke test to check for corporeality: no.
• Anya’s sole line: “Trying to talk will just kill you sooner.” Consoling a potential.
• Andrew provides comic relief: Comedic looting.
• The First does something: Merges with Caleb.
• Strange behaviour by the gang: Apparently forgot to stock up on bandaids.
• Getting it on: Caleb and the First.
• Best quote: “Okay. I’ll get Kennedy to watch the girls. She’s tough. Imminent death won’t bother her.” — Anya.
• Biggest gripe: Random ubervamps.