In today’s hectic world, some things just don’t get the attention they deserve — like meat.  So I present to you five meat related products for you enjoyment:

1. The Hot Beef Sundae. I didn’t even realise that this existed — to have lived all my life without eating some golden mashed potatoes covered with a generous portion of roasted and seasoned to perfection top round beef, then aged cheddar cheese, more golden mashed potatoes smothered with special beef gravy, more aged cheese, a slice of buttered toast and a cherry tomato on top.  To make matters worse, there’s more than one in existence, which I haven’t eaten. This Hot Beef Sundae has a bowl full of hand-mashed, home-style potatoes surrounded by a slow-roasted, fork-tender roast beef topped with savoury beef gravy, a sprinkling of shredded cheddar cheese and finished with a sweet, red tomato on top. Mmmmmm.

2. If you are looking for a present for the man who has everything, why not give him a marble floor made from salami? It is both practical and delicious. Caution may attract zombies in the event of an apocalypse, and keep it away from dogs and toddlers.

3. I don’t think meat gets enough public awareness these days. Why not support the cause with a I Love Meat Wristband? Meat needs your support. There’s lots you can do to help the cause — when’s the last time you told a cow how delicious it is?

4. This is one for the kiddies — if they fall over and get a boo-boo, patch them up with one of these bacon bandaids. It even comes with a free toy. What could take their mind off the pain more than their favourite meat?

5. In more Bacon News, Wendy’s Baconator isn’t very good for you.  Also, it looks better in the ads.  I think there’s room in the market for a proper bacon burger. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to design my bacon burger.  If you’d like to enter the Name Andrew’s Bacon Burger Contest, please leave your suggestions in the comments.  You might win a free bacon burger! Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery of the prize to non-Australian addresses.

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This entry was posted by the illustrious Andy Cocker on Thursday, October 2nd, 2008. It concerns such pressing issues as bacon, five things, meat. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.