Oddly enough, I find myself agreeing with Shannon about a Stargate episode.  This is unusual.¹ She likes Sam and her exposition, I don’t.  I liked the Ori plot, she didn’t.  It makes it difficult to watch episodes together.

Still, it’d be difficult not to like Continuum.  There’s a lot of excellent stuff going, much of it harking back to earlier seasons.  Unlike in The Ark of Truth, where the writers had to tie up the loose ends of the Ori story, in Continuum the only requirement is that it is about Ba’al and free from such constraints, the writers craft a much better story.

Ba’al, my favourite Goa’uld, apparently isn’t dead yet.  While SG-1 go to watch the execution of the last of his clones, he’s busy using his time machine to mess with history and everyone ends up in an alternate timeline.

When I said that there was excellent stuff from earlier seasons, I wasn’t referring to the ‘yet another alternate reality plot’.  The idea is serviceable and different enough from previous stories that it didn’t overly bother me.  I did like SG-1’s dismissal of the new timeline and the characters in the new timeline’s reluctance to be erased in order to restore the status quo.

What I really was refering to was the reappearance of the Goa’uld and other old characters.  The Goa’uld are far superior villains than the Ori and it brought back fond memories to see them on screen, although less devoted fans might not have appreciated the scene between Ba’al and Apophis. Jack’s also back, and for more than two minutes this time.  I was concerned that after his brief appearance at the start that he wouldn’t return and his appearance would limited to a short cameo but that wasn’t the case.

To top it off, there are plenty of other classic Stargate devices that have fallen by the wayside back.  SG-1 uses C4 to solve their problems, the transporting rings get some more use, and the wormhole tunnel is back to lend the idea of interstellar travel some gravitas rather than the cheap everyday nature it has gained.  The wormhole effect was in The Ark of Truth but is more noteworthy here since it is relevent to the plot.

Unusually, I didn’t find Vala’s performance very compelling, and not just because her outfit wasn’t as hot as previous choices.  Her lines seemed forced and the candid nature of some of her lines doesn’t fit with the character.

While I don’t like only having two SG-1 stories this year, I do like that because the two movie length episodes have the budget of about ten normal episodes, there’s plenty of special effects and no thin stories to pad the season out.  There’s an impressive fight between F-15’s and Goa’uld death gliders, an interesting interrogation montage and there’s a very well shot scene on a freighter crossing the Atlantic ocean.  Normally you’d be lucky to get one such scene in an episode.

While I don’t like having SG-1’s future to be uncertain like this, these first two movies have been excellent and I’m hanging out for more.

1. Reference unavailable due to someone breaking the site’s archives.

‘The Ark of Truth’ DVD¹ sat on my shelf, untouched, for three months, before I finally watched it. I guess after ten years, I am running out of enthusiasm for the show. Despite the promise of the Ori plot being wrapped up, I was uncertain about this movie.

Within fifteen minutes, I am reminded why. Stargate keeps reusing plots and ideas, far beyond their use-by date. The International Oversight Advisory is back, the same old village set is back,² and SG-1 are looking for an ancient artifact to solve all their problems.

In the next ten minutes, the IOA representative is revealed as petty and annoying, and SG-1 is given command of the ship Odyssey, which, given SG-1’s track record with spaceships, will probably be destroyed by the end of the movie. It’s not a promising start.

These problems are fortunately offset by the quality of acting. Vala’s consistently excellent, with one particular standout moment in my pants near the end. Cam has some great lines at the end of the film. There was a moment when he looked like he was going to have a ‘never give up’ moment,³ but said some witty one liners instead. Sam, surprisingly, is sporting long sexy hair and doesn’t spout technobabble at every possible opportunity.

The direction had some inspired moments too, which was surprising given that it was directed by Robert Cooper who hasn’t shown this flair in the past.

So it wasn’t too bad. I liked the resolution of the Ori plot. It has had some bad moments, but I’ve liked the Vala-Tomin-Adria parts in the past (despite their contrived beginnings) and it was nice to see those wrapped up satisfactorily. Stargate generally doesn’t have enough character moments, so I impressed that Tomin managed to get so much screen time.

It’s a shame the film started out the such an uninspired premise and had to spend the rest of the film working back up to alright. I’m cautiously looking forward to the next one.

1. Yes, I bought it, due to a voice in my head telling me to buy Stargate products, rather than download them. I regret it now, because while trying to watch it on my computer with Windows Media Player, I get this helpful error about DRM or garbled playback. It eventually played with VLC, but it seems wrong that I would have less trouble if I downloaded the file.
2. The same voice in my head kept reminding me of this, I presume in an attempt to ruin my suspension of disbelief.
3. He’s come a long way since then.

As the last moments of the original Stargate series reverberate around the world, wise men elegantly articulate our loss:

• “Alas poor SG-1, I knew them well”

• “SG-1 was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.”

• “What’s the point, when there is no Stargate SG-1 anymore.”

Indeed. Me, I’m not sure where to start. How does one summarise the end of an entire series? I feel disappointed, though whether that is just sadness at the departure of my favourite show, or that the final episode did not live up to my expectations: that Unending would be the best episode ever; that Unending would not end and I could be could be stuck in a Better Than Life simulation of SG-1’s universe. Perhaps my expectations were too high.

While my mind becomes accustomed to the post SG-1 world, I ponder other finales for other shows and I am consoled. Wonderfalls was cancelled after four episodes, just as it was about to hit its peak; Dark Angel was cancelled after the end of its second season, forever leaving us hanging; Buffy‘s last episode was a flaming wreck hurtling into the abyss, with Messrs. Plot and Logic having jumped off long ago.

Unending is a very good episode, strongly finishing off the final season, especially in light of what could have been. It’s just that … sniff, wavy hands I promised myself I wouldn’t cry … it’s, it’s just that there’s no more Stargate. Why should I get out of bed anymore?

Oh, you want to hear about the actual episode. I suppose so, as long as I can lie here in my pj’s while I tell you about it. It started with wit and sparkle — Teal’c and Mitchell, Vala and Daniel — discussing the long dreary voyage on the Odyssey. They’re going to meet with Thor, who wraps up the the Asgard plot line in record time.

The Asgard pimp up SG-1’s ride to the max, including the very best technology the Asgard own: the forward-facing laser (I believe that lasers that can fire backwards are banned under the intergalactic weapons treaty), the Asgard wikipedia and time dilation technology. The Ori, jealous because they’re not getting enough screen time this season, crash the farewell party and attempt to blow up the Odyssey. SG-1 slow down time, while they sort out the problem.

As the last episode, it appropriately contains many typical elements of an SG-1 episode. The main problem in the episode is the hole they dug for themselves and the rest of the episode is spent climbing out. Sam fails to fix the problem repeatedly. SG-1 uses suspect physics. The Odyssey is upgraded with sweet alien tech and then severely damaged. The problem is solved with explosions.

I liked it because of these elements. I loved the music and sound effects – the Ori ships rumbling across the screen and the chanting, the silence when time stops, the montage which is a rare occurrence in Stargate, Mitchell’s constant running, Teal’c’s distinguished grey streak, the idea that I would have enough time to catch up on my video games.

I have but one regret. I would have liked to see Jack one more time.

With SG-1 back in the SGC going about their daily routine galactic exploration, I see that, indeed, life does go on. Now, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to finish with a song.

“Annnd IIIIIIIIII I will alwaaays love yooouuuooouuuoououuuoouou, Stargate SG-1!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heroes

Heroes has just begun in Australia, but through the usual channels, I’ve been following the American broadcasts. At first, I must admit, it looks like it’ll be a snorefest a la LOST, but there’s one or two key differences that become apparent as time goes by…

For a start, most of the questions tend to get answered, and replaced with new questions. There’s none (or not much) of the ‘unanswered thread escalation’ that one gets in The X-Files and such. Most of the mysteries are simple “How did he get here?” sort of things that don’t stretch out irritatingly. The “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World” arc actually finishes (to an extent) halfway through the series or thereabouts. Which is nice.

Also, because all the characters are split up and moving in different directions, if there is a plotline you don’t like, often it doesn’t stink up the rest of the show. Like, hypothetically, if the Nikki/Jessica plotline was really, really dull, you can kind of deal with it.

Wii

My brother got a Wii. Finally. I’d been playing me a bit of the old Wii tennis, and thought I’d put my Pro Tennis Mii onto the Wii remote and show him off to Andy. Irritatingly, it turns out your Wii Sports information is not kept in your Mii, or at least not the bits that come along when you put the Mii on a Wii remote. Unless I did something wrong.

That was a confusing paragraph. The Wii is fun though. A quick variation on the anecdote that everyone’s been telling; my Mum has been playing Wii Sports and loving it, despite almost never playing a game ever before. That’s how good Wii Sports is. Excite Truck is also good.

Stargate SG-1

Still patchy, this show. And it’s sneakily come back in other countries before Battlestar Galactica has finished. So you can’t expect Andy to start reviewing it again. After all, he’s busy not reviewing Battlestar. Maybe he’ll get to it later. Last week’s show, ‘Family Ties’, was particularly disappointing. I don’t know what it is about shitty character actors that so enthrals the makers of the show. It’s as if they see this actor mug for the camera, do an irritating voice, and completely fail to bring any sort of believability to the part and think “Yes. Yes. There’s a story about him. I can see it now. It’ll be completely unbelievable and irritating. How cool is that?”

The Fountain

Do you like overwrought emotion, long periods of silence and a general lack of drama? Then this film is for you. I can see how The Fountain could have been an awesome film. Bits of it are exciting, bits of it are beautiful. As a whole, though, the word “ponderous” comes to mind. I doubt I’ll review it, but someone else might.

An interesting point about The Fountain — the space backgrounds were done not with computer generated effects, but with particles in water being filmed in slow motion. An interesting point about going to see The Fountain — if you don’t know that, you assume it’s computer generated, and it goes completely over your head.

Excuse me, passer-by, what time is it? Episode ten, ‘The Quest’, already? I didn’t realise that it was so late in the season. We’d better get moving and solve this little trouble we’ve been with the Ori then. No time for anymore fruitless episodes.¹

There’s a village around here, in keeping with the village theme this year,² that should hold clues and RPG stereotypes. I bet if you repeatedly questioned the minor characters, they’d start repeating themselves. Yes, yes, no one’s returned from this quest, we know.

Despite the Ori troops’ burning of the books,³ the way ahead is not lost. The old librarian, who I’ll call Deckard Cain for the purpose of this review, knows the location of the Sangraal.

The Sangraal is not going to be easy to find. When I bought a DS, I did not realise that the Tapwave Zodiac had the ability to detect temporal fluctuations. Or perhaps Sam got hers specially modded.

SG-1 proceed to competently work through the puzzles to the mid-season cliff-hanger. I’m not saying they’re a bad band of adventurers. I know how hard it is to work with a group but some of the puzzles took them longer than expected.

SG-1 also showed their weaknesses again. They won’t kill anyone who claims that they might just possibly know some information and if someone’s life is threatened, SG-1 will do whatever the enemy wants.

But I don’t mind because Adria, Vala and Daniel get a chance to continue their conversation and Ba’al’s back.⁴

And that brings us to the cliff-hanger. If I have to wait until January for the rest of the season, the mutant spawn of a toad and a bat isn’t going to keep me on the edge of my seat til then. Even Dungeon and Dragons: The Movie had better dragons. Oh well, guess I’ll set my alarm for January.

1. Some people have voiced the opinion that the last season should be all action and defeating the Ori. As the mid-season break the Ori are bound to turn up. Not every episode can be packed full of Ori defeating goodness. I don’t like arcs that run through every episode of a season.
2. Not that I dislike rustic villages — it’s certainly a change from the SGC and forests — just it’s been very villagey recently.
3. Won’t somebody think of the books?
4. Yay!

It’s an amnesia episode! Either that or Vala’s a robot, or a genetically engineered clone. Those latter two are likely but my bet’s on amnesia. Reminds me of that assassin movie.

It looks like Vala will lose her memory and wander the streets, encountering everyday scenarios and react to them in her crazy alien highly-trained manner. The biggest mystery here is how she loses her memory. But I’m judging this episode by its pre-title sequence, which according to a related adage, I shouldn’t be. So cut to three weeks earlier…

Daniel and Vala have gone out for a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant for a sweet character moment. I hoped they’d at least get dessert before they’re interrupted by the plot but not today. Vala’s rudely kidnapped by the Trust.

Fortunately, the Trust’s security is almost as leaky as SGC’s and possible leads are quickly found. Unfortunately, nobody read the warnings in the instruction manual about not firing zats while using the memory device.

Amnesiaced Vala is now on the run. All she’s got to keep her alive are her good looks, her wits and the martial arts skills she’s forgotten about. She’ll be fine. I like that Vala, normally a consummate liar, has trouble convincing people that she’s telling the truth.

I’m glad the bike wasn’t injured; after the car was trashed, I was concerned for its safety. I wouldn’t’ve let anyone commandeer it, if it were mine.

Another very good, and on-earth, episode. There were character moments; some flair in the direction, with quirky camera angles; even Sam contributed to the show with her goofy humour. We’re laughing at her, but at least we’re laughing.

The final scene makes SG-1 feels like a gang again, with the new characters. I hope this is the way SG-1 goes out.

“Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they’re looking to make.”
“Cigarettes in space?”
“It’s the final frontier, Nick.”
“But wouldn’t they blow up in an all oxygen environment?”
“Probably. But it’s an easy fix. One line of dialogue. ‘Thank God we invented the… you know, whatever device.'”

— Thank You For Smoking

Ah, technobabble. Also known as ‘phlebotonin’ if you’re a writer on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’m sure that to the casual viewer, all technobabble is equal. I know that when I watch House, I have no idea what they’re talking about half of the time, and it doesn’t bother me at all. As long as they don’t go on too long about it.

A big discussion blew up about technobabble, and Samantha Carter’s propensity for it, earlier in the year when we saw Stargate SG-1‘s wannabe epic, ‘Ripple Effect’. Interviews such as this one with Claudia Black have revealed that the SG-1 creative team are more focused on making sure that the plot is well-established than putting character moments into stories; not a bad thing in itself, but sometimes it feels like the show has become hyper-focussed on trying to make ultimately nonsensical science make complete, unassailable sense. Why bother?

‘Ripple Effect’ is a good case in point. For a parallel-universe episode to spend a quarter of its length on making sure that their universe jumping plan was explained to the letter seems peculiar for a show clearly targeted at regular science fiction viewers. On occasions, like in this season’s ‘Insiders’, it almost feels like background characters are there to say what the writers think internet fans are going to pick holes in. “But what about that device in season four that did this?” “Doesn’t that contradict season six, episode twelve?” If the characters are going to have mind-numbing debates on the internal continuity of the show on screen, what does that leave the fans to do?

Compare this to Doctor Who, which cops a lot of flak amongst its fans for doing exactly the opposite. In ‘The Idiot’s Lantern’, an alien intelligence went about through televisions, sucking the faces off people. The Doctor’s plan involves taping the consciousness on a videotape, but because it isn’t divulged until later, the climactic scenes become rather confusing. Oh no! Random thing has gone wrong! Oh yay! Random thing has been fixed! Phew!

This sort of thing would probably be over the head of Joe Normal regardless, just like the big, dramatic arguments about potential cures in House are only exciting to me because everyone’s acting like they should be, rather than because I understand what causes which symptoms. But for a sci-fi audience, just a little touch of technobabble can make them feel a lot more involved.

Technobabble has its place. Economically used, to smooth the discrepancies between the real world and the fictional world, and to ease the objections of people who actually know something about the science you’re fudging. If you’re Douglas Adams, not that anyone is these days, it can even be almost poetic. I don’t think it’s offensive to non-geeky viewers, but by the same tack, I think in many cases, especially Stargate‘s, large swathes of it become about satisfying Stargate nerds as opposed to science nerds. That’s when it becomes a mess — because let’s face it, the only people who give a crap are probably going to find a hole in it anyway.

I have a confession. I know killing people is wrong, killing lots of people is even wronger, and killing lots of innocent people is the most wrongest thing of all. I don’t approve of murderers, serial killers or genociders. But, given the chance, I’d kill a thousand villagers to gain control of an Ori ship. It’s morally ambiguous but I assure you I wouldn’t go much higher. I’ve got a limit, I’ve got my standards. No more than a ten to fifteen thousand deaths per ship, tops.

I don’t think you appreciate just how necessary it is to obtain the Ori’s ships. Let me give you an example. My brother and I used to play Age of Empires 2. Each race has a powerful unit, unique to that race. These units are much stronger than the rest of the of the units. As a result, my brother and I would almost solely build these unique units. The best are the Persians as they have War Elephants that do trample damage to all surrounding units. The Persians are my favourite race but the only strategy necessary to win is to deploy your War Elephants as fast as you can. The second best race is the Teutons with their Teutonic Knights. Like the War Elephant, Teutonic Knights are slow but tough. So tough that they can only be beaten by War Elephants. I stopped playing with the Persians because I liked the challenge of defeating the Teutonic Knights without using War Elephants. Our games ended in a stalemate after we stripped our lands of all natural resources or with the Teutonic Knights pillaging my town.

The best strategy I had was to use monks to convert the Teutonic Knights to my side, then fight his knights with my knights. The point is that the Jaffa can only beat the Ori by using the Ori’s ships against them. They can’t discover an ancient artifact at the last possible moment like SG-1 can. I think the Jaffa made their mistake in not attacking the three remaining Ori ships simultaneously.

A thousand people don’t have to die. Luring the ships to a remote location near a stargate would work. Launching a stargate out of a cargo bay at an Ori ship would work. The Jaffa lack ingenuity.

Whether a thousand innocent people die or not, once you have a ship, there’s so much more choice. It could be taken apart and researched. It could sneak up behind another Ori ship or you could keep zapping the Ori ships with the stargate weapon until you collect them all. If I were Landry, I’d complain about the inefficient use of the weapon or the endangering of SG-1’s lives rather than the loss of the people. Still I like his and Bra’tac’s meeting with the new Jaffa leader, Se’tak, who wants to know what the Tau’ri have done from him lately. Although he was morally flexible, I think it was Se’tak’s egomaniacal behaviour that got him killed. He was a rational and interesting character at the start but as he went madder his demise became inevitable.

This whole episode was great, but my favourite part was the Daniel-Vala-Adria conversation. They’re so passionate and convinced that they can convert each other to their side. These scenes have a higher standard of dialogue than the rest of the episode and I look forward to at least a couple more before the series ends.

I’m getting attached to Colonel Emerson, with his sensible backing up of SG-1 and clever guessing at the enemies actions. It’s going to be sad when he dies pointlessly in the mid-season break.

This is a welcome change for Stargate SG-1.¹ It’s always been light in the character development department, and has cliche tendencies. So when I see an episode like this, with believable conversations I feel a lot better about this season.

The episode starts at Jack’s house. Jack’s in this episode! Yay! It’ll be the old gang again. Except that Jack’s not at his house. And Daniel’s wagging his second consecutive episode. Tut tut. Looks like it’s going to be Mitchell and Landry having a deep and meaningful.

This had me worried after last week. I did not want those two sitting around with their trite military cliches for the whole episode. Thankfully they actually had something reasonable to say and we got a little more insight into those two. Landry’s not a push over; he has his standards about the military chain of command, even in something as unorthodox as the SGC. I liked seeing him in the field firing a weapon. It took Hammond seven years to get of base. He’s good at comedy too, when he gets a chance to show it.

Back on base, Vala, used to being independent, is having trouble fitting in. No one listens to her plans because she’s on the bottom of the heap. She’s uncomfortable about it and I hope it leads to something later in the season. SG-1’s procrastination over the first Ori super gate led her to doing her own thing which saved the team. SG-1 needs someone willing to act like her.

Her interactions with the rest of the team bring out better aspects of the others. Sam, in Vala’s presence, is less bland. She becomes a little defensive, and has sensible non-technobabble conversations with Vala. Sam explains things to Vala with disdain, but without talking down to her, like she does with the new hot doctor.² Sam gives me the impression that she is hoping that by ignoring Vala, the challenge to her position as the female in SG-1 will go away. I’m happy to have the impression that Sam’s feeling anything at all.

There was a couple of other things that I liked: the beast flopping over when killed and the ranger. The former could be considered unfair as the beast had no gun but it was good to see everyone as a team shooting the beast. The later’s death was un-Stargate-like but a welcome change indeed.

1. Especially after last week’s debacle. This week’s match up is ‘Uninvited’ v ‘Rise of the Cybermen’.
2. I hope the new chick sticks around. I wonder where the old one is.

I’m sitting down to watch ‘Insiders’, when I see this tip off from a reliable informant.

I’d put my hands over my ears and shout “LA LA LA SPOILERS I CAN’T HEAR YOU’ but I think even Nostradamus could have predicted that Sam will mistake her arse for her elbow twice a season and with the prevelance of Baal clones, I’m expecting multiple appearances by him. The knowledge that it would be Baal emerging from the ship did dampen the excitement I might have felt had it been a surprise, but since the episode — as my informant eloquently described it — ‘sucked’ I was prevented from being falsely optimistic during the pre-title sequence.

I’ve never claimed that Stargate SG-1 is the master of twists: it’s no Alias: I’ve never seen M. Night Shyamalan credited as the writer. The stories are straight-forward. The locations, while infinite in possibility, are often the SGC. The characters are set in their ways with predictable dialogue, but I like their ways, so not a problem. Not a problem unless it all happens at once.

Baal arrives with a deal for SG-1. It’s been done before but I’ll let it slide. The resulting group conversations are predictable, with the inevitable conclusion that SG-1 do exactly as Baal says. They claim that they know it’s a trap but that’s not much good when the don’t see it being sprung. Even SG-1’s enemies think they are predictable.

At this stage, the episode wasn’t condemned. It was a weak and slow set up but it had Vala and Baal so I still thought it might pull through. Then the SGC’s response to Baal’s escape was slow and uncoordinated. Prison doors weren’t sealed,computers on the affected levels weren’t cut off. Seems a flawed emergency protocol.

Baal’s a slippery eel. I don’t mind if he pulls one over SG-1. They need a good slapping. But just as the annoying scientist is blathering on about running a simulation on the spread of gas instead of getting on with the job, the whole episode is sunk by Sam’s capitualation to Baal and giving him her access code at the mention of killing the other hostages. No stalling for time, no sneaky behaviour — it’s embarrasing.

I’m being soft on this episode. It’s worse than I describe it. The fanboy in me prevents me being too critical. I’d like to say that there was witty dialogue but I can only remember the bad Baal puns. I can’t bring myself to use them as quotes — they’re best left forgotten.

I was optimistic after last week’s episode. I couldn’t help comparing the season’s progress to Doctor Who’s second season. The episodes of both shows were getting better as the season progressed — until this fourth episode when Doctor Who had ‘Girl in the Fireplace’ and Stargate gets ‘Insiders’. It’s not fair.