6:01 So wait a second – it’s over. This is bullshit. I calculated I had to wake up at five o’clock. Apple sucks. If they had announced their keynote time in GMT and not PDT then I would have had a chance.

6:02 Apple sucks more! Their server is too busy and I can’t get the iPhone 3.0 Gold Master seed before I get to work. On to the keynote I guess…

6:03 Firewire returns! That is definitely the reason I need to throw out my 10 month old unibody macbook and upgrade! I was one of those people¹ that cracked the shits when I learned I could no longer use target disk mode.

I’ve given my credit cards to Marissa but I think she’ll understand when I explain to her it will be easier to troubleshoot my laptop in the event something goes wrong and I need to recover my data.²

Easiest. Sell. To. Girlfriend. Ever.

What else — new battery, more RAM and… wait… what’s this? No express card slot?? WTF???!? OH MY GOD APPLE YOU HAVE DROPPED THE BALL! I WILL NEVER BUY AN APPLE PRODUCT AGAIN!!

6:04 For the record — I know I am not actually live blogging. It’s because it makes nasty markup. Actually it’s because I don’t know how to do it. Yes, I am a n00B.

6:56 I had breakfast and a shower. None of you really needed to know that, or even care. Tom is here trying to figure out what is in the new iPhone 3GS that he won’t get in his 3.0 update. He says — not much. I say — sexiness and new speed! Seriously — I love this free update for the iPhone thing. Best thing about owning one. Bring on Tethering!

What is it with apple launching stuff right between my upgrade cycle?

7:03 $14.95 upgrade for Leopard is sweet! So cheap it isn’t worth stealing.

7:05 Now I can remotely erase my iPhone in case it is stolen! Yeah! Total justification for MobileMe. What a glorious day. I feel vindicated. In your face Tom. And you said MobileMe was a waste of money.³

7:10 So that is a wrap. I had more to say but I have to go to work, and this is long anyway. I thought of a killer joke in the shower but I’ve forgotten it now. I am shattered.

In summary — Apple sucks. How dare they update their macbook line after almost a year. You might think that is a good run for me to have a top end laptop, but not when you consider Tom has an iMac which has not had significant updates for years. I like the new iPhone but am pleased since I am not off contract for another 15 months we get most of the functionality anyway. Snow Leopard to not be $160 is awesome and looks really nice. I like any OS that makes my machine run faster. MobileMe still sucks at it’s price point.

7:24 What else? Oh, the iPhone 3.0 seed is downloading now. But I don’t think I’ll get it installed before I have to leave for work (in approximately 5 minutes). I should put on some clothes.

UPDATE I have noticed at one point I imply that Tom is in the same room as me and at the end I imply I have been naked since my shower. Neither of these inferences are true.

1. Along with 95% of the fucking internet, apparently.
2. Years of hand picked, best quality porn.
3. Actually, it is. Really, it is. For the love of god, spend your $119 on something else.